Published by: Sierra Simone
Genre: Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Erotica, Menage, BDSM
Rating:
As Poe begins uncovering the house’s secrets, both new and old, she’s also pulled into the seductive, elegant world of Auden and his friends—and drawn to Auden’s worst enemy, the beautiful and brooding St. Sebastian. And as Thornchapel slowly tightens its coil of truths and lies around them, Poe, Auden and St. Sebastian start unravelling into filthy, holy pleasure and pain. Together, they awaken a fate that will either anoint them or leave them in ashes…
"If I don’t come at least once a day, I’m miserable. And yet, I still haven’t had sex."
🙅🏼🔴
I can't, I just can't. I never EVER give up on or DNF books but I disliked this book almost immediately.
I was this close to abandoning it after only 8% but after much consideration, and honestly because I was bored at work, I decided to give it another chance. So naturally, I skimmed.
And skimmed and skimmed.
Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense, skipping all the unbearable pretentiousness (the female lead's name is Proserpina ffs! Poe for short [...]
Other ridiculous names are Auden, St. Sebastian and Delphine. So you get the gist...
Character development was non existent - the only thing we know about these characters is that they like sex. Like, a lot. There is no other personality or character trait mentioned, no life stories, no background, no talk of families, other friends etc. It's like they exist just to be at Thornchapel and constantly have sex with each other. The only thing we learn from the tiny prologue, is that six 12 year olds performed a fake wedding at a chapel behind some rich boy's house, and then three of them kissed. 10 years later and Proserpina (ugh),being the exceptional librarian that she is (is there a bad librarian?) is summoned to that guy's mansion to go through some old tomes - I don't exactly know what she was doing there to be honest because a) I skimmed and b) didn't really care.
Now, she hasn't seen these people in 10 years, and as soon as she sees one of the guys she kissed when she was a kid, she immediately wants him and is 100% sure belongs to her and all that crap. She then sees the other guy she kissed back then, who is engaged I might add, and she thinks he belongs to her too. And the guy, honourable man that he is, thinks the same.
Skim skim skim, and around halfway in Poe finds an old book with an ancient binding ritual in it which is performed at Thornchapel. One person is the Lord and the other the Bride, and they must unite under the fool moon and whatever else, I didn’t get into details.
Of course all of them (practical strangers) went “Yes, let’s do an orgy!” (as you do), and decided to perform the ritual.
And thus begins a ridiculously over the top tale of endless boners and wet pussies.
I know, I know. That is basically the definition of erotica. What else did I expect, right?
Well, some kind of story for starters. Interesting and likable characters, maybe? I have read other erotica books, granted not many, and while they still have a lot of sex, it wasn’t all about that. The characters resemble real people and they have actual thoughts and emotions that don’t revolve around getting off all the time.
A Lesson in Thorns was pure, unadulterated porn. That’s all.
That being said, it was great porn. The scene with Poe’s spanking and the orgy itself which was like 100 pages long, were admittedly very very hot. I personally had some moral objections about a couple of things, but at that point taking the moral high ground was not an option, considering the book I was reading.
In a sentence, A Lesson of Thorns was an extremely sensual, tantalising, sexy book of complete nonsense.
If you are in it only for the sex and don't care about the fact that there is no story and all the characters are very unlikeable, then go for it. Otherwise, I personally don't get the hype at all.
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EDIT: Sorry, did I mention that 4 of the 6 characters were basically described as sex on legs, but at 22 they were still virgins? Yeah.
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