Published by: Henry Holt & Co
Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Dark, Self-Harm, Abuse, Mystery, Sexual Assault
Rating:
Grace wants out. Out of her house, where her stepfather wields fear like a weapon and her mother makes her scrub imaginary dirt off the floors. Out of her California town, too small to contain her big city dreams. Out of her life, and into the role of Parisian artist, New York director—anything but scared and alone.
Enter Gavin: charming, talented, adored. Controlling. Dangerous. When Grace and Gavin fall in love, Grace is sure it's too good to be true. She has no idea their relationship will become a prison she's unable to escape.
Deeply affecting and unflinchingly honest, this is a story about spiraling into darkness—and emerging into the light again.
Enter Gavin: charming, talented, adored. Controlling. Dangerous. When Grace and Gavin fall in love, Grace is sure it's too good to be true. She has no idea their relationship will become a prison she's unable to escape.
Deeply affecting and unflinchingly honest, this is a story about spiraling into darkness—and emerging into the light again.
Bad Romance was a very hard book to read. I constantly felt threatened and afraid while at the same time, I couldn't put it down.
That's the power of a great writer and of ,what has got be, one of the best books I read this year.
You probably already know, but Bad Romance contains many, many triggers about emotional, physical and sexual abuse. If you have been abused or know someone that has, this might be a bit difficult for you to go through and I completely get if someone chooses not to read it.
It wasn't easy.
Grace leaves in an abusive home. Her mum is married to a horrible man who physically abuses and belittles her and consequently she takes it out on Grace. Grace is made to do all housework to perfection and if not, she is given the most severe and absurd punishments. No wonder that after falling head over heels with Gavin, a teenage rock god and senior at her school, she doesn't see the level of his abuse straight away, putting it down to him being protective and caring about her.
When I was in my 20s, I heard my mom telling stories about friends of hers being talked down to and beaten by their partners and were in general extremely unhappy in their marriages. As far as I know these women are still married to the same men to this day. I remember thinking: "What, are they fucking stupid? Why don't they leave?" I'll admit, I was very judgmental and quite ignorant back then, mostly because I grew up in a safe and loving family and I just couldn't understand why these women didn't just leave. Simple. Just open the door and never look back.
As I got older, I had a rude awakening and my bubble was not only burst, but shattered into million pieces. I found out firsthand how abuse can be so subtle and fine that it is almost undetectable (definitely by the people involved) and how you can stay in an abusive relationship without even realising that it is harmful. As for leaving? Ha. Not even on the table.
That is what happened to Grace. She knew after a while (you cannot not know, it's impossible) that she was unhappy and she could not live that way anymore but she just couldn't leave. Reasons varied from lack of self respect ("I'm never gonna find anyone like him to like me back"), complete denial ("But he loves me and I love him") to emotional manipulation ("If you leave me, I will kill myself"). Whatever the reason, the answer to her friends demanding that she break up with him was always "I can't".
The level of abuse Grace had to suffer was beyond anything I could imagine. It was A LOT, but I liked the fact that she remained real throughout. She didn't turn from victim to super hero in one day, or had a completely unwarranted and out of character reaction, which if I'm being honest, at that point, I could believe even that. To see that kind of trauma painfully unravel in front of me little by little, I didn't even know what reaction would be "suitable".
I also really loved the ending, and I think it is a clear message to all women out there.
That's the power of a great writer and of ,what has got be, one of the best books I read this year.
You probably already know, but Bad Romance contains many, many triggers about emotional, physical and sexual abuse. If you have been abused or know someone that has, this might be a bit difficult for you to go through and I completely get if someone chooses not to read it.
It wasn't easy.
Grace leaves in an abusive home. Her mum is married to a horrible man who physically abuses and belittles her and consequently she takes it out on Grace. Grace is made to do all housework to perfection and if not, she is given the most severe and absurd punishments. No wonder that after falling head over heels with Gavin, a teenage rock god and senior at her school, she doesn't see the level of his abuse straight away, putting it down to him being protective and caring about her.
When I was in my 20s, I heard my mom telling stories about friends of hers being talked down to and beaten by their partners and were in general extremely unhappy in their marriages. As far as I know these women are still married to the same men to this day. I remember thinking: "What, are they fucking stupid? Why don't they leave?" I'll admit, I was very judgmental and quite ignorant back then, mostly because I grew up in a safe and loving family and I just couldn't understand why these women didn't just leave. Simple. Just open the door and never look back.
As I got older, I had a rude awakening and my bubble was not only burst, but shattered into million pieces. I found out firsthand how abuse can be so subtle and fine that it is almost undetectable (definitely by the people involved) and how you can stay in an abusive relationship without even realising that it is harmful. As for leaving? Ha. Not even on the table.
That is what happened to Grace. She knew after a while (you cannot not know, it's impossible) that she was unhappy and she could not live that way anymore but she just couldn't leave. Reasons varied from lack of self respect ("I'm never gonna find anyone like him to like me back"), complete denial ("But he loves me and I love him") to emotional manipulation ("If you leave me, I will kill myself"). Whatever the reason, the answer to her friends demanding that she break up with him was always "I can't".
The level of abuse Grace had to suffer was beyond anything I could imagine. It was A LOT, but I liked the fact that she remained real throughout. She didn't turn from victim to super hero in one day, or had a completely unwarranted and out of character reaction, which if I'm being honest, at that point, I could believe even that. To see that kind of trauma painfully unravel in front of me little by little, I didn't even know what reaction would be "suitable".
I also really loved the ending, and I think it is a clear message to all women out there.
That goes to show that a lot of times we embellish things and situations in our heads so much that it's almost paralysing, when it's very very simple. And when we do take that leap, we see how much time we wasted being inactive and unhappy.
OBVIOUSLY not all situations are the same! and if you find it impossible to walk out and say enough is enough, I get it. It is extremely hard, nobody saying it's not. That is why you need a good support system or if you don't have that, please find someone with the knowledge and expertise to help you. Reach out, because it's definitely not something you can do on your own.
As much as I hated Grace's parents (no excuses for her mum, she was horrible, awful and she should be institutionalised, if not imprisoned), I think Gavin's parents were worse. They were not doing him any favours by piling on his deluded dream of getting married to Grace and getting an apartment and all that crap. I mean they were barely 19 years old and Gavin was mentally unstable, he was on medication. They should have paid closer attention to him and not emotionally manipulate Grace into staying with him. Maybe I'm being harsh, I don't know. I understand that they loved him, but you can't be blind to anything else that is going on.
Bad Romance was exquisite, but I'm not gonna lie, I struggled with it. On an emotional level, it took me back to a state of mind where I swore I'd never be again, and I found I needed a long break from reading after I finished it.
That said, it was amazingly written and I don't regret picking it up for a second.
It made my heart bleed, but I loved it.
A dear friend of mine was hospitalised earlier this year because of something her husband did to her, I don't want to go into details. She could have died, that's how bad she was. After months in the hospital and clinics and therapy, she went to live with her mom. In one of our calls, she admitted to me that she misses her husband because, and I quote: "He is the only one who gets me". I think that says a lot about an abused woman's mindset.
OBVIOUSLY not all situations are the same! and if you find it impossible to walk out and say enough is enough, I get it. It is extremely hard, nobody saying it's not. That is why you need a good support system or if you don't have that, please find someone with the knowledge and expertise to help you. Reach out, because it's definitely not something you can do on your own.
As much as I hated Grace's parents (no excuses for her mum, she was horrible, awful and she should be institutionalised, if not imprisoned), I think Gavin's parents were worse. They were not doing him any favours by piling on his deluded dream of getting married to Grace and getting an apartment and all that crap. I mean they were barely 19 years old and Gavin was mentally unstable, he was on medication. They should have paid closer attention to him and not emotionally manipulate Grace into staying with him. Maybe I'm being harsh, I don't know. I understand that they loved him, but you can't be blind to anything else that is going on.
Bad Romance was exquisite, but I'm not gonna lie, I struggled with it. On an emotional level, it took me back to a state of mind where I swore I'd never be again, and I found I needed a long break from reading after I finished it.
That said, it was amazingly written and I don't regret picking it up for a second.
It made my heart bleed, but I loved it.
A dear friend of mine was hospitalised earlier this year because of something her husband did to her, I don't want to go into details. She could have died, that's how bad she was. After months in the hospital and clinics and therapy, she went to live with her mom. In one of our calls, she admitted to me that she misses her husband because, and I quote: "He is the only one who gets me". I think that says a lot about an abused woman's mindset.
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