READING: The Ravens (The Ravens #1) by Kass Morgan and Danielle Page

Publication date: November 3 2020
Published by: HMH Books for YR
Genre: College, Contemporary, Hints of Paranormal, Magic, Mystery, Sorority
Rating:

Kappa Rho Nu isn’t your average sorority. Their parties are notorious. Their fundraisers are known for being Westerly College’s most elaborate affairs. But beneath the veil of Greek life and prestige, the sisters of Kappu Rho Nu share a secret: they’re a coven of witches. For Vivi Deveraux, being one of Kappa Rho Nu’s Ravens means getting a chance to redefine herself. For Scarlett Winters, a bonafide Raven and daughter of a legacy Raven, pledge this year means living up to her mother’s impossible expectations of becoming Kappa Rho Nu’s next president. Scarlett knows she’d be the perfect candidate — that is, if she didn’t have one human-sized skeleton in her closet…. When Vivi and Scarlett are paired as big and little for initiation, they find themselves sinking into the sinister world of blood oaths and betrayals.

Oh my. This book.

I really thought it would be one of my 2020 faves. Not only does it play on sorority books nostalgia like The Ivy or Private series which I really enjoyed, but also...witches?? I mean, seriously. This sounds perfect, right up my alley. And until around halfway I thought it would be good. Not the best, but a fun, enjoyable read.
But it started going downhill from there real fast.

Even though the girls are supposedly in college, the vibe was definitely high school. Vivi, the main female character, was this doe-eyed, innocent, quirky little girl (really? can this trope just die already?) who has absolutely no awareness of what is happening around her and has the personality of a napkin. She was really boring to read and a ridiculously weak character.
There was a scene where she was siting alone at a party and the guy she likes asks her "What are you doing here alone?". Her first thought was that that question would have mortified "Old Her" because she saw it as an acknowledgement of her awkwardness and friendlessness. I mean, what the hell? Just because someone asks you why are you sitting somewhere, it triggers such feelings of unworthiness? That's stupid! Vivi is supposed to be 19 years old, a college girl, a young woman, and she is floored when someone asks her "Why are you sitting alone?"
Oh, right. That's the "Old Vivi". Meaning the Vivi from 10 pages ago, who suddenly changed her whole personality and she doesn't mind these kind of questions.
How many eye rolls can I possibly insert here? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Scarlett on the other hand, I liked. She was strong and assertive and way more interesting to read. Yes, she was a total bitch in the beginning, but I knew what I was signing up for. We're talking coven/sorority, of course there's going to be bitchiness.
Except for her, all the other characters were soooo dull. The love interest was interest in name only. Mason was an underdeveloped character who did not know what he wanted. Or rather he knew, but he went at it completely the wrong way and that made him immediately unlikeable to me.
The other sorority girls were pretty much one person, they all just blended together after a while, and Vivi's mum had absolutely no backstory to justify her words and actions.

Overall, The Ravens started off as a mildly entertaining YA read (meh, more like middle grade if I'm being honest) and ended up as something I had a very hard time finishing. It was like the authors skipped 10 years of character and story development when they wrote the second half, and I could no longer connect with the book.
Not for me :/

READING: The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Publication date: February 5 2019
Published by: Celadon Books

Genre: Contemporary, Mystery, Suspense, Crime, Thriller
Rating:

Alicia Berenson’s life is seemingly perfect. A famous painter married to an in-demand fashion photographer, she lives in a grand house with big windows overlooking a park in one of London’s most desirable areas. One evening her husband Gabriel returns home late from a fashion shoot, and Alicia shoots him five times in the face, and then never speaks another word.

Alicia’s refusal to talk, or give any kind of explanation, turns a domestic tragedy into something far grander, a mystery that captures the public imagination and casts Alicia into notoriety. The price of her art skyrockets, and she, the silent patient, is hidden away from the tabloids and spotlight at the Grove, a secure forensic unit in North London.

Theo Faber is a criminal psychotherapist who has waited a long time for the opportunity to work with Alicia. His determination to get her to talk and unravel the mystery of why she shot her husband takes him down a twisting path into his own motivations—a search for the truth that threatens to consume him....

Finished this book in one day. I can't remember the last time I found a book so addictive!

Part of the Silent Patient's pull lies with its plot. A seemingly open and closed murder that happened 6 years ago, committed by a mysterious woman who has not spoken a word and since been residing in a mental institution, narrated by her psychiatrist. Who wouldn't want to read that?
I am a huge fan of unreliable narrators, especially in such a dark and ominous setting as a mental institution. I have always been fascinated with the therapist/patient relationship and how it's been portrayed in books and movies/TV (hello Hannibal ❤️) There's a co dependency there that I find quite interesting yet disturbing, perfect for a thriller book.
Regrettably, we didn't get to see much of that in this book, mainly because Alicia (the patient) didn't speak at all, and also because Theo was so bad at his job! For those of you expecting to read a lot of intriguing, clue-filled sessions between him and Alicia like I was, you can forget it. For all I know, Theo didn't even need to be a therapist. He could easily be a prison warden and Alicia a prisoner. Her being in a mental institution serves no other purpose than to add an eerie component to the book, it doesn't factor in the story/plot at all.

What also makes Silent Patient so addictive, is the writing. Not necessarily its quality, but its simplicity. Short, to the point sentences, that just had me flying over the words. This was, I'm guessing, done on purpose so the reader, so anxiously wanting to know the ending, would turn page after page without actually seeing what is going on right in front of them.

The characters were across the board very unlikeable, I don't think anyone can disagree with that. Theo in particular was in by no way shape or form the "hero" you're supposed to root for. In some instances I even found myself cringing at what he was saying. He was unesttling, to say the least, and given his profession and the position of power he was in, it was getting harder and harder to sympathise with him as I got more into the book. Granted, he suffered abuse in the hands of his father for many years but then again, according to him (unreliable narrator). I was mostly creeped out by his relationship with his wife, to be honest. Even though at first glance it looked fine, I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right there.

In regards to the ending, I get that it came as a shock to many people, but not to me. I am, by nature, very paranoid, and whenever I read a book like this one, especially one that has been super hyped for its unexpected ending, my mind always goes to the most out-there, wacky places, mostly because I want to be all like "Ha ha I knew it!" (I ruined the Lost Season 3 finale for all my friends. Yes, I'm one of those).
This time, my mind didn't need to go far. I had 2 theories already formed after reading 50 pages or so, and after reaching the halfway point, I was strongly leaning towards one of the two, which turned out to be what actually happened. So, on that respect it kind of disappointed me. I expected a mind blowing ending for such a hyped book and I didn't get it.
That being said, I realised after that it wasn't the ending itself that disappointed me, but how the book came to a close. I felt like there should be a more well rounded explanation as to how and why all this happened. Upon finishing the book and looking back at what I have been reading for the last I don't even know how many hours, I realised that the book's purpose was solely the big reveal and nothing else, and after that was done, the book just stopped existing. I don't know, it just wasn't satisfying to me.

The Silent Patient is an undeniable page turner. You will not be able to put it down, this I guarantee. If you don't take everything apart like I do, you will definitely enjoy it.
If you are nit-picky like me, you will still enjoy it but probably go "Wait, is that it? Well, I already knew that" in the end.

READING: The Beautiful (The Beautiful #1) by Renne Ahdieh

Publication date: October 8 2019
Published by: GP Putnam's Sons Books for YR
Genre: Historical, Paranormal, Vampires, Mystery, Romance
Rating:

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans provides her a refuge after she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent along with six other girls, Celine quickly becomes enamored with the vibrant city from the music to the food to the soirées and—especially—to the danger. She soon becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of the group's leader, the enigmatic Sébastien Saint Germain. When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in the lair of La Cour des Lions, Celine battles her attraction to him and suspicions about Sébastien's guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret.

When more bodies are discovered, each crime more gruesome than the last, Celine and New Orleans become gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the loose—one Celine is sure has set her in his sights . . . and who may even be the young man who has stolen her heart. As the murders continue to go unsolved, Celine takes matters into her own hands and soon uncovers something even more shocking: an age-old feud from the darkest creatures of the underworld reveals a truth about Celine she always suspected simmered just beneath the surface.

I'm genuinely very disappointed. I know by now to always be wary of pretty covers, but after seeing all these raving reviews about The Beautiful, I though it would at least be decent.
It wasn't.

The Beautiful failed to capture my interest right from the start. The writing was almost uncanny, like it was trying very hard to be something it wasn't and was failing miserably. Each scene took forever to get through, vases and chandeliers' descriptions dragged on for ages, and there were densely worded sentences saying nothing at all. Also, phrases like "beyond your ken" (used more than twice) do not fit in a book about New Orleans me thinks, it threw me completely off.

This is supposed to be a book about vampires, but there are no vampire in sight until around 90% or so. Why take this long to reveal the plot? The whole point of buying and reading this book is to read about vampires. I absolutely can't stand it when a book promises you one thing and is marketed as, in this instance, a vampire book, when it's clearly a romance book, and not even a good one!

The characters were all one dimensional caricatures.
The big baddie's thoughts were written in monologed chapters, which to me read like "I'm evol and I vant to drink blood mwahaha". 

🤓 Not great.

The chief of New Orleans police is a 18 year old boy *eyeroll* How can you even justify that, it's impossible!
The girls were either clever or stupid, very shy or promiscuous, there was no in between. Celine was a reckless, numbnut who acted all high and mighty, but insta-loved a guy who looked dangerous, threating and unstable.
Oh but don't worry though. It's totally OK because he is soooooo dreamy!
My time machine worked everybody, I'm back in 2010 when this shit was still acceptable!
Stop putting so much importance on good looks, or rather out-of-this-world good looks, unless it fits your plot! It's not right to send these kinds of messages to young readers, or any readers for that matter.

This book was unbelievably exhausting to read. I felt like wading through mud in the last 100 pages, I just couldn't seem to finish it. When I finally did, I admittedly found the last 10 pages kinda interesting compared to the rest of the book, but definitely not interesting enough for me to read Book 2.
If you're brave enough to tackle this, you are my hero and I wish you all the best. I barely got through it.
Very unmemorable and tedious.

READING: They Wish They Were Us by Jessica Goodman

Publication date: August 4 2020

Published by: Penguin Teen  

Genre: High School, Secret Society, Cliques, Silly  

Rating:

In Gold Coast, Long Island, everything from the expensive downtown shops to the manicured beaches, to the pressed uniforms of Jill Newman and her friends, looks perfect. But as Jill found out three years ago, nothing is as it seems. Freshman year Jill's best friend, the brilliant, dazzling Shaila Arnold, was killed by her boyfriend. After that dark night on the beach, Graham confessed, the case was closed, and Jill tried to move on. 

Now, it's Jill's senior year and she's determined to make it her best yet. After all, she's a senior and a Player--a member of Gold Coast Prep's exclusive, not-so-secret secret society. Senior Players have the best parties, highest grades and the admiration of the entire school. This is going to be Jill's year. She's sure of it. 

But when Jill starts getting texts proclaiming Graham's innocence, her dreams of the perfect senior year start to crumble. If Graham didn't kill Shaila, who did? Jill vows to find out, but digging deeper could mean putting her friendships, and her future, in jeopardy.

This book sucked the life out of me 😣
Even though I am a sucker for high school cliques and secret societies, this one was just not my cup of tea.

I could almost forgive the non - existent mystery; it is very obvious from the beginning who the murderer is. Again, I wouldn't have a problem with that if the rest of the book was alright.
What I couldn't get past was the despicable characters.
Jill was a mean, terrible person, who valued being the most popular girl in school more than anything. It seemed to me she was relieved her friend died, so she could take her place in the hierarchy and be the queen of the school. Even after 3 years of her friend's death, she kept that awful secret club alive, along with its inhumane hazing.
Now, all of a sudden, Jill decides to grow a conscience for reasons unbeknownst to the reader (really, no explanation at all) and finally sees that what she has been doing all this time is actionable, to say the least, and tries to stop it. However, she still really misses her "friends", who are even worse than she is, and her hard earned popularity.
Ugh, I disliked Jill very much.

They Wish They Were Us was kind of OK until 20% where I was still curious about where all this was going and Adam's character was intriguing. It went downhill very fast from there. I struggled to finish it, and I really don't think it will appeal much to ages older than 12-13 yo, if that.

READING: Part & Parcel (Sidewinder #3) by Abigail Roux

Publication date: December 19 2015

Published by: Riptide

Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Mystery, Suspense  

Rating:

Nick O'Flaherty and Kelly Abbott had their happy ending in sight when a friend’s call for help almost ended with them losing it to the blade of a knife. Now, in the aftermath of near-disaster, both men are trying to heal and move on.

Moving on together, though, is harder than either of them realized it would be. Kelly struggles with simply being a lover instead of the Doc, while Nick is mired in his recovery. The distance between them inches along in stilted silence.

Desperately seeking solace, Nick finally gathers the courage to sort through the possessions his dear friend and fellow Sidewinder teammate Elias Sanchez left him when he died. Instead of comforting memories, Nick and Kelly find a stack of letters and strict instructions from Eli that prompt them to send out a call for assistance. With Eli’s letters in hand, Sidewinder sets out on one last mission together, seeking peace and absolution from beyond the grave—and from each other.

No...this can't be how the series ends...I refuse to believe that after 12 books, this is how Abigail Roux decides to send off my favourite characters.
How sad. 😢
Granted, Part & Parcel was better than Cross&Crown, but not as good as it should be, and definitely not as good as I expected.

I appreciated the sentiment behind it, it was indeed a very moving story. Having all Sidewinder go on a spiritual journey of sorts while saying goodbye to their fallen brother in arms; it was the tear-jerker story suited to close the series. Why was Zane there, though? I get it, he is part of the gang blah blah but he is not Sidewinder, and his presence there undercut the tone of the story. He stuck out like a shore thumb, something that he even acknowledged himself in the book!
It wasn't a deal breaker though, I could easily have looked passed it if the rest of the book was OK.
It wasn't.

Part&Parcel belongs in the Sidewinder series, so I naturally expected that it would be primarily focused on Nick and Kelly. I didn't mind the other Sidewinder members being there, not at all, but I realised very early in the book that Roux didn't actually know what to do with all these characters so it was very unclear what was the point of the book : was it Nick and Kelly's relationship? Was it saying goodbye to Eli? Was it Nick dealing with his issues? Was it Nick's suddenly revealed past? Was it Ty and Zane? It was none of these things and yet all of it at once, and it didn't make for good storytelling. It was a hot mess, actually.

Nick was not the Nick I got to know and root for in Divide&Conquer and definitely not the Nick I fell in love with in Shock&Awe. To put it bluntly, we was a sad sack throughout the whole book, constantly moping and brooding. And while I completely get why (he almost died and lost a friend) and while I generally like brooding men, Nick seemed to sulk about Kelly, and how he is not worthy of him, and all this nonsense. What happened to the confident Nick? The Nick who inspired all the others with his assertiveness? Yes, he lied to them in Crush&Burn, but come on! He is Nick! His team knows him and has been trusting him blindly for years. Plus, everything Nick had to do for Bell was explained in the end, and all his friends stood by him when he was in the hospital. If Kelly decided he didn't want to be with him after this, it's his decision to make. He is a mature man who has been through wars (!) Nick telling him he is not worthy of his love, is just ridiculous and just drama for the sake of drama. No need for all that. Just a nice, heartwarming story about saying goodbye to a friend concluding the series, would have been more than enough. It reminded me of Touch&Geaux so much, the "I have to create drama out of nowhere to keep the readers interested". No. No need. Yes, feel free to create drama when it's appropriate and suits the story, but when it's out of the blue just to fill the pages with something? Nah, I don't accept that.

Kelly was no better. He was actually the queen of drama, and I wasn't digging that at all. Making a whole thing about seeing an old sex tape of Nick's? Yeah, and? So what? Was he not allowed to have a life before Kelly? And all the back and forth of fighting and making up, and fighting again and then making up again, ugh. Very annoying and didn't serve any purpose.
The way both Nick and Kelly acted, I honestly believed they shouldn't be together. Gone was the sizzling chemistry they had in Sock&Awe. Reading Part&Parcel, you'd think they were this very old couple who got tired of each other and are just looking for a way out. That is how Roux's writing felt like to me-I sensed that by the end of it all, she was exhausted and just wanted to finally finish the book (repeating patterns, phrases, jokes etc.) Also, throwing some LGBTQ+ reps in the last 10 pages, doesn't compensate for the complete character destruction and lack of story.

Finally, the sex scenes, the one potentially redeeming quality of the book, were not great. It felt like Nick and Kelly's sexual chemistry and connection were completely gone, and I personally didn't feel anything going through those scenes. We're talking about the same two people who were hotness personified at the start of their relationship in Shock&Awe. What happened??

I don't know what else to say, I am deeply disappointed in this very weak ending of one of my favorite MM series.
That being said, I will always remember its good moments, and all the reasons that made me fall in love with its characters 🌟

*** 🥇 1st place - 3 way tie between Sticks&Stones, Stars&Stripes and Shock&Awe: these books give me life, I adore them ❤️
*** 🥈 2nd place - very close second is Fish&Chips (nothing better than a submissive Ty 😏)
*** 🥉3rd place - Divide&Conquer (hello Nick :)

READING: Cross & Crown (Sidewinder #2) by Abigail Roux

Publication date: June 9 2014

Published by: Riptide

Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Mystery, Suspense

Rating:

When Nick O'Flaherty arrives at the scene of a double homicide to find he has a witness to the crime, he thinks it’s his lucky day. But when he realizes his witness is suffering from amnesia and can’t even remember his own name, Nick wishes he’d gone with his gut and put in for vacation time.

Then Nick’s boyfriend and former Recon teammate, Kelly Abbott, joins him in Boston, and Nick finds his hands a little too full as the case and his personal life collide. The witness he’s dubbed “JD” is being tailed by Julian Cross, a retired CIA hitman. To complicate matters further, JD forms an attachment to Nick that Nick struggles not to respond to as they search for the key to JD’s identity.

Trying to determine whether JD is friend or foe as they investigate the crime puts them on the trail of a much older mystery. When multiple attempts are made on their lives, Nick is forced to turn to old enemies and new allies to solve a centuries-old crime before he and Kelly get added to the history books.

 

Very disappointed 😕
I don’t think I have ever rated an Abigail Roux book below 3 stars-not even Ball & Chain which is my least favorite of the C&R series-so you can imagine my dislike for this book. And after Shock & Awe, which I absolutely adore? Ts ts how could you do this to me Mrs. Roux??

I feel like every beautiful and loving aspect of Nick and Kelly’s relationship built in just 125 pages in Sock & Awe, was torn apart in the 225 pages of Cross and Crown, and quite easily actually. I have to admit, I am not a Julian fan. I don’t know what it is. Maybe because I don’t get his relationship with Cameron (like at all), or maybe because he just blends together with all the other alpha, macho males in every Abigail Roux book. He is not something that I have not seen before, therefore he is boring to me.
That being said, Julian is the least of this book’s problems, he didn’t even register.

My issue is: what happened to Nick and Kelly’s chemistry??? And I am not even talking about the sizzling hot connection they shared in S&A. I am talking about their genuine close friendship and comradery. Their scenes felt real forced, and it felt like reading about two strangers. They lost that familiarity and ease they had in S&A and all the previous C&R books, and I never really got why. Granted, they were still trying to figure out their relationship, but they seemed to had it all figured out at the start, but now all of a sudden not so much. There was always something not quite right between them and their scenes were even awkward sometimes.
Yes, and the sex ones. 😟 Not much joy there, as I personally thought their sex scenes were cringey, and they made things even worse.

Kelly seemed to suddenly be on the fence about his relationship with Nick, even though he kept insisting he was in love with him. There always seemed to be doubt in his mind and he, more than Nick, would find a million excuses, like Nick’s work (super unfair to Nick) him living far away, to name a few, to try and justify his uncertainty. He never stopped to think that the only problem was that he was scared shitless to commit to Nick! I would much rather he admitted it, than being a whingey sook for the whole book. Again – this is not the Kelly I knew! I don’t know what came over him in Cross & Crown. Personally, I believe Roux created too much drama over absolutely nothing (or at least issues that could very easily been discussed and resolved) thus weakening the characters, and losing focus of what really mattered.

Nick was pretty much the same, but he too lost his strong and confident personality. He allowed himself to be led by Kelly’s whims, no matter how irrational. I completely disagree with other readers claiming that Nick is turning into Superman like Ty, not at all. I think the opposite, if anything. It gave me the impression that Nick was way more in love and committed to Kelly than Kelly, and that was so not the case in Shock and Awe.
Sigh.

The story was not notable, in my opinion. There was nothing engaging or interesting about the mystery and that made me not really care about any of the secondary characters who were just decorative.
I adore Nick. I loved him since the beginning – getting flashbacks from Divide & Conquer now ❤️ Where is THAT Nick? Bring him back! Or at least naturally change him for the better.

I am warning you know 👉
If you ruin Nick for me on what looks like the last book in the series, I will never forgive you 😭

READING: True Story by Kate Reed Petty

Publication date: August 4 2020

Published by: Hatchette Australia

Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Sexual Assault, High school, Abuse, Real Life, Suspense

Rating: 

Back in 1999, Nick Brothers and his high school lacrosse team return for their senior year in a well-to-do Baltimore suburb as the reigning state champs. The afterglow of their big win is bound to last until graduation; not even the pressure of college applications can get in the way of their fun. But when a private school girl attempts suicide in the wake of one of the team's "legendary" parties, and a rumor begins to circulate that two of Nick's teammates sexually assaulted her, it seems like it might ruin everything--until the team circles the wagons, casts doubt on the story, and the town moves on.

But not everyone does. Fifteen years later, four people--Alice, Nick, a documentary filmmaker, and a wealthy entrepreneur--remain haunted by the roles they played, the things they still don't understand, and how the story has shaped their lives. In sections told from different points of view, each more propulsive than the last, the layers of mystery are gradually peeled back as we barrel toward the truth of what really happened that night . . . and what came after.

I received an ARC of True Story from Hatchette Australia and these are my thoughts.

Trigger warnings: sexual assault, abuse, alcoholism

I am sitting here for the past 20 minutes trying to decide how to start this review and I am coming up empty. I can’t think of the right preface to really express my feelings about True Story. I personally thought it was brilliant; a thought provoking, captivating book, which will occupy your thoughts days after you finish it.

That being said, I want to make something clear: if you are after a horror/thriller book, this is not for you. Some people were disappointed that the twist ending didn’t have the impact they were expecting, or that it wasn’t suspenseful enough. That was never the point of the book, in my opinion, it goes so much deeper than that. The book was about these people’s lives, Alice and Nick’s in particular, and how the former’s sexual assault in high school affected their whole lives. 

I loved Petty’s writing. In addition to it being straightforward, brutally honest and to the point, it was also quiet addictive, which made even such a difficult-to-read book so un-put-downable. 
One my favourite parts was Alice’s essay drafts for college. Her frustration and desperation to write about anything but her assault, and her enormous effort to “focus on the positive” when it was practically impossible, is palpable. You can see it in the amount of drafts she writes (all included in the book), and their repetitive content. The final tutor-approved draft, showed Alice’s tenacity and ability to turn even a silly thing as shoes (who writes about shoes making an impact on their lives in a college essay??) to a feminist message. She was a sexually assaulted 18-year-old girl, who was made to focus on the positive (otherwise no college for her!) and she did the best she could, even though she would never accept the compliment or admit it to herself.

My other favourite part was when Nick goes to the cabin. It got me hooked from the very first word and I didn’t put the book down until I finished the whole chapter. Nick’s voice filled me with dreadful anticipation of something horrible waiting to happen at any time. And something horrible was happening at any given time, because that was Nick’s life. It was awful and pitiful, but it didn’t make me feel sorry for him. I felt that Nick wouldn’t want anyone to feel sorry for him, because he believed he deserved everything that was happening to him. He was clearly self-destructive, and that cost him everything in his life. I truly believe he meant well, in a sense that he did not deliberately try to hurt anyone, but so many wrong-doers try to shake off responsibility claiming to have meant well, and Nick was the poster boy for that. In the end, I admired his self-awareness and recognition of the fact that he just wasn’t meant to have a good life, but he kept trying despite of that.

At first, the twist about Nick at the end of the book didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t see how it was all connected and it just didn’t make sense to me. After more careful consideration, I realised that it’s what brings everything together in the end, and actually explains a lot.

For example, when I thought that Nick killing Q was a bit of a stretch. Of course it was, because it was fiction. Q is still alive. Or isn’t, we don’t know. It was part Alice’s wishful thinking, to finally kill the monster, and part wanting to make Nick do one heroic deed before he disappeared into fictional oblivion. Plus, his cabin chapter makes more sense when you realise it’s fiction.

In regards to the sexual assault and the revelation in the end, I believe it’s open to interpretation. Granted, Alice seemed convinced by Richard’s confession but let’s not forget that Richard is a master manipulator, he does that for a living! and he would say anything to avoid exposure. No matter if it did happen or not though, that is not the point. The point is the irreparable damage that even the smallest indication of sexual assault can do to the victim’s psyche. This experience shaped Alice’s whole adult life, that is an undeniable fact (see chapter with Q). Even if it’s ever proven otherwise years later, she couldn’t just go “Phew, what a relief!” and move on. Absolutely not. Something like that changes you forever and it is almost impossible to go back to a state when it didn’t happen. 

That being said, Alice, like with her essay drafts, finds a way to focus on the positive and manages to see a sliver of light at the end of a very dark, terrible tunnel. She decides to write her own narrative and not let anyone tell her story any more. She only knows her version to be true because it happened to her, it’s her story, which she says she used to punish those who hurt her, but also to forgive. This way, Petty expertly showcases the dichotomy between Alice’s still pervasive anger and her willingness to finally let go in the most satisfying ending this book could get.

I am aware that this book deals with sensitive matters, but sometimes we need to get a little uncomfortable in order to face reality, because these things happen all over the world every day. I would definitely recommend it to teenage girls and boys-so much more to take away from than a superficial YA romance, in my opinion.

READING: A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court Of Thorn and Roses #3) by Sarah J. Maas

Publication date: May 2 2017

Published by: Bloomsbury USA

Genre: YA, Fantasy, Fae, Magic, Kings, Romance, Suspense 

Rating: 

Feyre has returned to the Spring Court, determined to gather information on Tamlin's manoeuvrings and the invading king threatening to bring Prythian to its knees. But to do so she must play a deadly game of deceit – and one slip may spell doom not only for Feyre, but for her world as well.

As war bears down upon them all, Feyre must decide who to trust amongst the dazzling and lethal High Lords – and hunt for allies in unexpected places. 

It took me almost a month to finish this book, and for a good reason.

We are in the middle of a very bad second wave of COVID-19 here in Melbourne and quite honestly, I was in no mood to read. I have been working from home since 1st of April and I have only been out for grocery shopping since then. With my family in another country and all my friends on quarantine, it has been a lot, to put it mildly. And reading this boring as book, didn't help at all!

I am not even gonna try to review ACOWAR. For me it was a waste of my time and try as I might, I can't find anything positive to say about it. 
The last battle with Hybern which was the only thing I was looking forward to was a hot mess, with things happening way to quickly and with no rhyme or reason.

Feyre's dad appeared out of nowhere, all hero-like all of a sudden when up until then he was admittedly the biggest coward, only to die so quickly minutes later. What was the point of that? And Feyre could resurrect Rhys possibly owing a million favors to all High Lords, but her father she didn't even give a second thought? And I am supposed to believe her sadness? Please, she couldn't care less. She always thought he was a wimp and I would have respected her way more if she didn't pretend to mourn him.

To me ACOWAR was a book full of grunts, snorts, chuckles, repetitive patterns and boring as scenes. 699 pages of it. At least ACOMAF had flowed smoothly and was literally unputdownable, regardless of its questionable content. ACOWAR is definitely not a worthy sequel and the 4.46 Goodreads rating astounds me.

READING: A Court of Mist and Fury (A Court Of Thorn and Roses #2) by Sarah J. Maas

Publication date: May 3 2016

Published by: Bloomsbury USA

Genre: YA, Fantasy, Fae, Magic, Kings, Romance, Suspense 

Rating: 

Feyre survived Amarantha's clutches to return to the Spring Court—but at a steep cost. Though she now has the powers of the High Fae, her heart remains human, and it can't forget the terrible deeds she performed to save Tamlin's people.

Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms—and she might be key to stopping it. But only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future—and the future of a world cleaved in two.

Wow 😳😳

Sarah J Maas, you played me good. So good in fact, that for a minute there I actually thought this book was awesome. Only after I finished it and wondered what the hell I just read, did I realise that ACOMAF is nothing but bell and whistles, just showy and flashy mediocrity, nothing more.
Just for the nerve and skill it takes to successfully accomplish that and make $$millions out of it, I’ve got to hand it to you, you are absolutely brilliant. 
Your book? Not so much.

I will divide this review into sections – makes it easier to just read the parts you want and skip the rest.

SPOILERS AHEAD-YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Content/Plot/Story: ACOMAF is a dense book. It’s 626 pages chock full of action and exposition. Is it all necessary and useful? Absolutely not. Was I bored? Surprisingly, not at all. I thought ACOTAR was boring in parts, but not ACOMAF.
I’m gonna be real with you though: what I really cared about was to see what’s gonna happen with Feyre and Rhys and consequently Tamlin, and that is what kept me turning the pages. Maas came up with a simplistic story about the cauldron and how to nullify it, which should have been front and centre, but only worked as a filler between the romance. And even then, it was mostly used as a plot device to bring F+R closer together. This way, the romantic aspect never ever let up, it was always present in the book and those two were almost always together in every scene. That is what made the book so addicting in my opinion, the slow burn romance. And Maas was a master in skilfully dragging it out without making the reader feel bored or uninterested. By doing so, she created a feeling of time passing very slowly, so you think that the events of the book take place in a span of years, but in actuality it has only been a couple of months. That’s mostly so we can forget about Tamlin completely and 1. accept that Feyre will choose Rhys and 2. be shocked by the "Tamlin is working with the King: reveal. I wasn’t, I actually found it very consistent with how he had been portrayed so far.
The ending was pitiful. After almost 600 pages of planning and training and covert missions, as soon as Feyre reached the cauldron, she surrendered almost instantly to its magic. This born again-power of all 7 courts-High Fae, who has proven she had so much power in other occasions, she couldn’t resist the cauldron and the book even for a second more and gave in that easily? It was laughable, really. She had enough power to break all of the King’s wards in the end, but no power to nullify the freaking cauldron. She had ONE job!
Let’s not mention the most powerful Fae in existence not being able to move a finger to do anything while King was dipping Feyre’s sisters in the cauldron (??) Also, why is Jurian working with the King? He was buddy buddy with Amarantha so Jurian should…hate him? I mean, it’s ridiculous if you think about it. No thought put into writing a decent story that actually makes sense. I know I said that I mostly cared about the romance, but I am still very aware that I am reading a fantasy book series. I think if you are a writer of that calibre, you can write both an alluring romance AND an engaging story in one book. Very disappointing.

Feyre
I never liked Feyre, and ACOMAF solidified that. She is very insecure and an attention seeker. She cared for her family yes, but she always made sure they knew it was because of her that they survived. I don’t think she’s that honourable that she could not forsake the oath she gave to her mother, whom she didn’t hold in any high regard anyway. As soon as Tamlin told her her family was taken care of in ACOTAR, she stopped worrying about them, choosing instead to blindly trust the word of a Fey she spent her life hating, and go on living her life in the luxury of Spring Court. 
At the end of ACOTAR, Feyre kills two humans because of her love (or attraction, lust) for Tamlin AND NOTHING ELSE. She couldn’t bare seeing him with Amarantha and she had to get him back. I think that is mostly what drove her insane when they went back to the Spring Court and she couldn’t sleep or eat. That she killed two people in cold blood for a guy she kind of just met. When the infatuation passed and she realised what she had done, it is only natural for her to feel shitty. But that’s on her, no one else is to blame for that. Yes, Tamlin was being an ass and was overprotective and was acting all alpha male. But also, can you blame him? She threw enormous fits because she was couldn’t stand the sight of the colour red (!) and then she was asking to go hunting evil, dangerous creatures with him. Like he would ever agree to that after seeing the freak-out state she was always in and how she cowered in the face of everything. I am not justifying Tamlin’s actions, but whatever Feyre’s psychological trauma was after what happened under the mountain, we never stopped to consider that Tamlin’s might have been the same or even bigger. I admit I didn’t when I was reading the book, and that is once again great proof of how Maas can skilfully manipulate the reader. 
In regards to Feyre, I don’t know what else to say. I think the absolute failure of her end mission speaks volumes of her and the way she approaches things that don’t directly pertain to her.
She craved Rhys’s attention constantly in both ACOTAR and ACOMAF, and pretending not to be attracted to him because it would be considered “traitorous” to Tamlin, was absolutely ridiculous. She even commented on the fact that Tamlin didn’t do anything to save her under the mountain while Rhys risked it all (again, massive manipulation). I don’t see her objecting to Rhys not doing anything to save her in the end of ACOMAF when his friends were in danger…just saying. She is self-righteous and such a drama queen when things don’t go her way, and will not admit that she is wrong to save her life. At least she admitted that she only fell for Tamlin because he was the first person to show her kindness. I think that must have been the only real thing she ever said. Apart from that, I have nothing good to say about her. Not a fan.

Rhysand
Look, I like Rhys. I liked him when he pretended to be evil, even though everyone knew he wasn’t, and I liked him when he was finally out as a good person in ACOMAF. The more I read and got deeper into the book though, the more I got that niggling feeling inside that something’s just not right. Every time Feyre gave him a very good excuse to blow a fuse or be protective or act like a jerk or just have a normal reaction like we have seen happen with MCs everywhere, he always reacted the same: calmly, politely and very well mannered, practically giving Feyre whatever she wanted and being the picture perfect partner.
She wanted space? No problem. 
She wanted to tease him relentlessly and not be teased back? He took it all in stride.
She wanted to be included in all meetings and decisions? Yes, ma’am.
He basically did everything in his power to show how diametrically different to Tamlin he was (manipulation again) and how Feyre made the right decision. While I don’t mind YA and NA MCs being uncharacteristically nice for once, I do think there is a limit. There is such a thing as “too perfect”, and that was Rhysand. When he went to the Night Court and tried to play the bad guy, it was just not believable at all, almost like a kid playing dress up. In ACOTAR, there was a good balance between his light and dark side, but in ACOMAF that all went out the window and he lost all the bits of his personality that actually made him interesting. His long ass speech in the cabin at the end was supposed to show what a hero he was, and how noble he remained through everything and I’m sorry for being harsh, but I thought he came across as completely spineless. His sentences started like “I wanted to say or do that blah blah but I couldn’t, because I respected you and I only cared about your happiness”. Boo hoo who cares?? Show some B-bone bro, seriously! Have flaws and take responsibility for them, nobody likes perfect. Perfect is sooo boring. Flawed characters can still be good-natured and respectful, it’s called WRITING A MULTI DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER! I think Maas did a disservice to both Rhysand and Tamlin in ACOMAF. And even though as I said I like Rhys, I would like to see him disagree or get angry or have any kind of a reaction to Feyre when she is being too dramatic or unreasonable, that is not pure adoration (barf).
I don’t think that Maas needed to invent mating to show that Feyre and Rhys have something special. I could have done without it. And the number of times Feyre calls Rhys her “mate” in the book, it’s just over the top. Yes, we get it! You are relieved you chose "correctly" and Rhys was your destiny and not Tamlin. If that’s what makes you sleep at night…
Rhysand, I still have faith in you. Please go back to the mysterious and cunning night creature you were in ACOTAR 🙏

Tamlin
First off, I want to acknowledge the fact that it takes massive balls to suddenly change the love interest of a YA/NA series in book two, especially one you made the readers so invested in book one. I have never seen or heard of it happening before in books of the genre, and anything that is so original is immediately interesting to me.
That being said, the shade thrown at Tamlin in ACOMAF, was on another level. Poor thing, I almost felt sorry for him. Even though I didn’t like the way Tamlin handled some things (yes, he is flawed!), we can all agree that Feyre is a massive drama queen and over exaggerated about everything. And I don’t even like Tamlin, I am Rhys all the way, have been since ACOTAR. But, we have to face the facts here: would we think Tamlin was bad if Rhys wasn’t in the picture? Would we think that he did “nothing” Under the Mountain, if Rhys was not there to serve as Feyre’s puppy dog, showering her with attention? Would we think that Tamlin locking Feyre in for “her own good” was as bad as shown, if there was not a romantic interest alternative already established? The answer to all that is no, we wouldn’t. If Rhys was not there or he was not pure perfection, Tamlin and Feyre would have a tiff, they would struggle to overcome the tortures they endured UTM, but in the end their relationship would become stronger for it and they would fight against Hybern together to save Prythian. It’s only in comparison to Rhys that we see Tamlin as an asshole. And Maas didn’t let us forget it! The comparisons between the two were endless and of course, when you’re compared to perfection you always lose. Only thing missing was Feyre comparing dick size and performance, which I wouldn’t put past her to do. It was done is such a crass way that is just wasn't fair. We couldn't even hear his side of things. The only thing that struck true to me was when Feyre admitted that both her and Tamlin were so badly hurt by Amarantha, that they could never recover after they came back. I can accept and agree to that. Maybe if she thought to say that to Tamlin, they would have broken up amicably and in a more reasonable and respectful manner. But no. She had to be all dramatic about it 🙄
Naturally, when it was revealed that Tamlin made a pact with the King, it was done, there was no coming back from that. We now officially hate Tamlin and we can no longer make excuses for him, period. And to think he made this deal only so he can get Feyre back because he thought that she was in danger at the Night Court, knowing what he knows of it. Remember, he doesn't know anything about Velaris and um, the Night Court did kill his entire family. So, a little food for thought there. That doesn’t justify him consorting with the enemy, but hey. Feyre killed two innocent fae to get Tamlin back. Potato potatho 🤷

Sex
Good Lord, that was graphic! Since when do YA books contain such explicit sex scenes? I am not going to be all prudish and say this is not for teens, because let’s be real, teens have seen more mature content on the internet that I have seen in my entire life! Note though, that is by choice and mostly unbeknownst to parents. However, when you market your book as YA and it gets shelved in stores as such, you have a certain responsibility towards a huge number of readers who are underage. I think ACOMAF should be a better fit in the New Adult genre, but then again *whispers* NAs don’t sell as much. 

Other characters: I liked the Night Court team. Wasn’t over the moon, but I had no particular problem with them. I would have liked to get to know Azriel more, he seems interesting. Cassian is the typical brute sidekick I have seen many many times before in YAs, but still enjoyable. Also, I can sense an enemies-to-lovers story with Nesta, and I’m here for it 🙌
Am I the only one who still likes Lucien and wants him to be King of everyone and everything? 😂 I mean, the bond with Elain is ludicrous, but apart from that I really like him. Hope Maas doesn’t destroy his character as well in ACOWAR.
I would also like to point out the lack of diversity in this book. I don't know about Maas's other series and what's going on there, but I'd take an educated guess and say...the same?

In summation, ACOMAF was, without a doubt, a very addictive page turner with an undeniably appealing romance. BUT! If you really stop and consider what you’re reading for a second, you will see this book for what it truly is: the most beautiful Christmas present you can’t wait to unwrap, only to find out it’s totally empty inside.
Or as Emer very well put in her review ← read it, it's dope.

 

READING: A Court Of Thorn and Roses (A Court Of Thorn and Roses #1) by Sarah J. Maas

Publication date: May 5 2015

Published by: Bloomsbury USA

Genre: YA, Fantasy, Fae, Magic, Kings, Romance, Suspense 

Rating: 

Feyre's survival rests upon her ability to hunt and kill – the forest where she lives is a cold, bleak place in the long winter months. So when she spots a deer in the forest being pursued by a wolf, she cannot resist fighting it for the flesh. But to do so, she must kill the predator and killing something so precious comes at a price ...

Dragged to a magical kingdom for the murder of a faerie, Feyre discovers that her captor, his face obscured by a jewelled mask, is hiding far more than his piercing green eyes would suggest. Feyre's presence at the court is closely guarded, and as she begins to learn why, her feelings for him turn from hostility to passion and the faerie lands become an even more dangerous place. Feyre must fight to break an ancient curse, or she will lose him forever.

Didn't write a review when I first read it back in 2015, but I decided to write one after I re-read it 5 years later.

1st re-read
Surprisingly, better than I remembered.
Granted, I was expecting the absolute worst, but turns out it wasn't that bad. I even remembered it wrong: I thought the "triangle" was between Feyre, Tamlin and Lucien. I did not remember Rhysand or the events that took place Under the Mountain at all! And I didn't remember any of their names, obviously. Funny thing, as soon as I saw the name "Rhysand", I immediately recognised it, as I have seen it written in hundreds of forums and book reviews, some not even ACOTAR series reviews (yes, that's right). So, I guess he is a fan favourite which is understandable and expected. Who doesn't love a bad guy turned all good and heroic for the love of a woman? Classic trope. He is basically Spike from BTVS. I mean, come on. Instant obsession 😍

Apart from Rhysand adding some necessary spice to an otherwise bland YA fantasy, I only liked Feyre's scenes with her family. It's the only time I felt she showed genuine emotion. As her relationship with Tamlin started to grow and she forgot all about her hatred for the fae and just took Tamlin's word that her family was ok, I lost interest. I could have easily skimmed this part and went straight to when she goes back to the village. I find her family dynamic very interesting and definitely something to explore, especially Nesta's character.

I don't know what to think of Tamlin. I guess there is not much to say for a character that gets so quickly outshined by someone that just appears at the end of the book. Tamlin is forgettable yes, and I have seen the exact same character in 90% of the YAs I've read. 
BUT. I can definitely see potential, and the chance to change the history of hot but boring YA MCs. If Maas knows how to explore that potential and really dig into his relationship with Fayre and Rhysand, it could be something beautiful. Judging by the books' success, I would like to think that she did, let's hope 🙏

I have to say, it's nice to finally read the books which reviews and discussions have been monopolising my feed for years now. Also, I have to give myself props for not reading any major spoilers all this time. Or if I have, I have definitely forgotten 😄
If I'm being honest, the reason I decided to read this series is to finally see what ACOMAF is all about. Hands down, it's the most praised book in the GR community for the past 11 years I have been an active member. For that alone, it is worth a shot. 

READING: The Woman in The Window by A.J.Finn

Publication date: January 2 2018

Published by: William Morrow

Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Thriller, Mystery, Suspense, Crime

Rating: 

Anna Fox lives alone, a recluse in her New York City home, unable to venture outside. She spends her day drinking wine (maybe too much), watching old movies, recalling happier times . . . and spying on her neighbors.

Then the Russells move into the house across the way: a father, a mother and their teenage son. The perfect family. But when Anna, gazing out her window one night, sees something she shouldn’t, her world begins to crumble and its shocking secrets are laid bare.

What is real? What is imagined? Who is in danger? Who is in control?

Whenever I read a thriller or a whodunnit, I always like to picture the most unlikely scenario in my head, the most impossible thing that might happen. For one thing, I have watched waaaaay to many TV shows of the same or similar genre, so my mind immediately goes to the most absurd. Second, I am one of those jackasses that always loves to say "Ha! I knew it!". So, if the book does something way beyond my most out there imaginings and it explains it well and is not completely silly, then I consider it a success.
Unfortunately, this book did not. *sad trumpet*

But! That doesn't take anything away from it because to Finn's defense, he thought the most impossible thing I could think, so kudos for that. If only he surpassed it, it would have been one hell of a book.
I loved the setting: dark, old four level brownstone in New York gave it a proper manor mystery vibe.
I also really liked Anna. She is the perfect unreliable narrator, being almost always drunk and heavily medicated. I guess all books of the genre need one of those, but since the trope has been done to death, I dismissed the theory of Anna actually having anything to do with the murder straight away, it would have been too easy for Finn to resort to that and it would have made for a cheap book.

The ending was fine I guess, a bit more disturbing than I anticipated. I thought it was a bit rushed, but I guess that's how it always is with these books: once the murderer has been revealed, what is the point?
I would say however that The Woman in The Window is more about Anna and her trauma (extreme agoraphobia sounds horrifying) than anything else, really. And that sets it apart from the other books of its genre. It could easily stand by itself, but the mystery and the black&white horror film references give it that extra zhuzh.

READING: Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson

Publication date: January 24 2017

Published by: Harper Collins

Genre: NA, Contemporary, Dark, Abuse, Mystery, Suspense 

Rating: 

Mary B. Addison killed a baby.

Allegedly. She didn’t say much in that first interview with detectives, and the media filled in the only blanks that mattered: A white baby had died while under the care of a churchgoing black woman and her nine-year-old daughter. The public convicted Mary and the jury made it official. But did she do it? She wouldn’t say.

Mary survived six years in baby jail before being dumped in a group home. The house isn’t really “home”—no place where you fear for your life can be considered a home. Home is Ted, who she meets on assignment at a nursing home.

There wasn’t a point to setting the record straight before, but now she’s got Ted—and their unborn child—to think about. When the state threatens to take her baby, Mary must find the voice to fight her past. And her fate lies in the hands of the one person she distrusts the most: her Momma. No one knows the real Momma. But who really knows the real Mary?

Definitely NOT the best time to be reading a book like this!

Don't get me wrong, Allegedly was well written with an intriguing story - all in all, surprisingly good for a debut novel, but it was such a bummeeeeeer of a book. With all that is happening right now in the world, and even though the book was addictive, I didn't want to pick it up because I knew it would depress the hell out of me.

Also, I didn't really care for any of the characters enough to want to see what happens to them. Mary is a shell of a girl with myriads of mental and psychological issues which she only immediately identifies in others but never in herself. She is a bit too judgy for my taste, given her circumstances and how easy she forgives and justifies disgusting and wretched people in her life.
Between her and the ending (last 3 page-very unnecessary-reveal), I would only recommend this book to those that are into super disturbing, unsettling, everything-is-garbage-no-hope-for-the-human-race kind of reads. 
I personally don't mind them under normal circumstances, but these are very abnormal times we live in and this book was not for me at this point in time. I will still give it 3 stars though for the writing.