READING: The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Publication date: February 5 2019
Published by: Celadon Books

Genre: Contemporary, Mystery, Suspense, Crime, Thriller
Rating:

Alicia Berenson’s life is seemingly perfect. A famous painter married to an in-demand fashion photographer, she lives in a grand house with big windows overlooking a park in one of London’s most desirable areas. One evening her husband Gabriel returns home late from a fashion shoot, and Alicia shoots him five times in the face, and then never speaks another word.

Alicia’s refusal to talk, or give any kind of explanation, turns a domestic tragedy into something far grander, a mystery that captures the public imagination and casts Alicia into notoriety. The price of her art skyrockets, and she, the silent patient, is hidden away from the tabloids and spotlight at the Grove, a secure forensic unit in North London.

Theo Faber is a criminal psychotherapist who has waited a long time for the opportunity to work with Alicia. His determination to get her to talk and unravel the mystery of why she shot her husband takes him down a twisting path into his own motivations—a search for the truth that threatens to consume him....

Finished this book in one day. I can't remember the last time I found a book so addictive!

Part of the Silent Patient's pull lies with its plot. A seemingly open and closed murder that happened 6 years ago, committed by a mysterious woman who has not spoken a word and since been residing in a mental institution, narrated by her psychiatrist. Who wouldn't want to read that?
I am a huge fan of unreliable narrators, especially in such a dark and ominous setting as a mental institution. I have always been fascinated with the therapist/patient relationship and how it's been portrayed in books and movies/TV (hello Hannibal ❤️) There's a co dependency there that I find quite interesting yet disturbing, perfect for a thriller book.
Regrettably, we didn't get to see much of that in this book, mainly because Alicia (the patient) didn't speak at all, and also because Theo was so bad at his job! For those of you expecting to read a lot of intriguing, clue-filled sessions between him and Alicia like I was, you can forget it. For all I know, Theo didn't even need to be a therapist. He could easily be a prison warden and Alicia a prisoner. Her being in a mental institution serves no other purpose than to add an eerie component to the book, it doesn't factor in the story/plot at all.

What also makes Silent Patient so addictive, is the writing. Not necessarily its quality, but its simplicity. Short, to the point sentences, that just had me flying over the words. This was, I'm guessing, done on purpose so the reader, so anxiously wanting to know the ending, would turn page after page without actually seeing what is going on right in front of them.

The characters were across the board very unlikeable, I don't think anyone can disagree with that. Theo in particular was in by no way shape or form the "hero" you're supposed to root for. In some instances I even found myself cringing at what he was saying. He was unesttling, to say the least, and given his profession and the position of power he was in, it was getting harder and harder to sympathise with him as I got more into the book. Granted, he suffered abuse in the hands of his father for many years but then again, according to him (unreliable narrator). I was mostly creeped out by his relationship with his wife, to be honest. Even though at first glance it looked fine, I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right there.

In regards to the ending, I get that it came as a shock to many people, but not to me. I am, by nature, very paranoid, and whenever I read a book like this one, especially one that has been super hyped for its unexpected ending, my mind always goes to the most out-there, wacky places, mostly because I want to be all like "Ha ha I knew it!" (I ruined the Lost Season 3 finale for all my friends. Yes, I'm one of those).
This time, my mind didn't need to go far. I had 2 theories already formed after reading 50 pages or so, and after reaching the halfway point, I was strongly leaning towards one of the two, which turned out to be what actually happened. So, on that respect it kind of disappointed me. I expected a mind blowing ending for such a hyped book and I didn't get it.
That being said, I realised after that it wasn't the ending itself that disappointed me, but how the book came to a close. I felt like there should be a more well rounded explanation as to how and why all this happened. Upon finishing the book and looking back at what I have been reading for the last I don't even know how many hours, I realised that the book's purpose was solely the big reveal and nothing else, and after that was done, the book just stopped existing. I don't know, it just wasn't satisfying to me.

The Silent Patient is an undeniable page turner. You will not be able to put it down, this I guarantee. If you don't take everything apart like I do, you will definitely enjoy it.
If you are nit-picky like me, you will still enjoy it but probably go "Wait, is that it? Well, I already knew that" in the end.

READING: They Wish They Were Us by Jessica Goodman

Publication date: August 4 2020

Published by: Penguin Teen  

Genre: High School, Secret Society, Cliques, Silly  

Rating:

In Gold Coast, Long Island, everything from the expensive downtown shops to the manicured beaches, to the pressed uniforms of Jill Newman and her friends, looks perfect. But as Jill found out three years ago, nothing is as it seems. Freshman year Jill's best friend, the brilliant, dazzling Shaila Arnold, was killed by her boyfriend. After that dark night on the beach, Graham confessed, the case was closed, and Jill tried to move on. 

Now, it's Jill's senior year and she's determined to make it her best yet. After all, she's a senior and a Player--a member of Gold Coast Prep's exclusive, not-so-secret secret society. Senior Players have the best parties, highest grades and the admiration of the entire school. This is going to be Jill's year. She's sure of it. 

But when Jill starts getting texts proclaiming Graham's innocence, her dreams of the perfect senior year start to crumble. If Graham didn't kill Shaila, who did? Jill vows to find out, but digging deeper could mean putting her friendships, and her future, in jeopardy.

This book sucked the life out of me 😣
Even though I am a sucker for high school cliques and secret societies, this one was just not my cup of tea.

I could almost forgive the non - existent mystery; it is very obvious from the beginning who the murderer is. Again, I wouldn't have a problem with that if the rest of the book was alright.
What I couldn't get past was the despicable characters.
Jill was a mean, terrible person, who valued being the most popular girl in school more than anything. It seemed to me she was relieved her friend died, so she could take her place in the hierarchy and be the queen of the school. Even after 3 years of her friend's death, she kept that awful secret club alive, along with its inhumane hazing.
Now, all of a sudden, Jill decides to grow a conscience for reasons unbeknownst to the reader (really, no explanation at all) and finally sees that what she has been doing all this time is actionable, to say the least, and tries to stop it. However, she still really misses her "friends", who are even worse than she is, and her hard earned popularity.
Ugh, I disliked Jill very much.

They Wish They Were Us was kind of OK until 20% where I was still curious about where all this was going and Adam's character was intriguing. It went downhill very fast from there. I struggled to finish it, and I really don't think it will appeal much to ages older than 12-13 yo, if that.

READING: Part & Parcel (Sidewinder #3) by Abigail Roux

Publication date: December 19 2015

Published by: Riptide

Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Mystery, Suspense  

Rating:

Nick O'Flaherty and Kelly Abbott had their happy ending in sight when a friend’s call for help almost ended with them losing it to the blade of a knife. Now, in the aftermath of near-disaster, both men are trying to heal and move on.

Moving on together, though, is harder than either of them realized it would be. Kelly struggles with simply being a lover instead of the Doc, while Nick is mired in his recovery. The distance between them inches along in stilted silence.

Desperately seeking solace, Nick finally gathers the courage to sort through the possessions his dear friend and fellow Sidewinder teammate Elias Sanchez left him when he died. Instead of comforting memories, Nick and Kelly find a stack of letters and strict instructions from Eli that prompt them to send out a call for assistance. With Eli’s letters in hand, Sidewinder sets out on one last mission together, seeking peace and absolution from beyond the grave—and from each other.

No...this can't be how the series ends...I refuse to believe that after 12 books, this is how Abigail Roux decides to send off my favourite characters.
How sad. 😢
Granted, Part & Parcel was better than Cross&Crown, but not as good as it should be, and definitely not as good as I expected.

I appreciated the sentiment behind it, it was indeed a very moving story. Having all Sidewinder go on a spiritual journey of sorts while saying goodbye to their fallen brother in arms; it was the tear-jerker story suited to close the series. Why was Zane there, though? I get it, he is part of the gang blah blah but he is not Sidewinder, and his presence there undercut the tone of the story. He stuck out like a shore thumb, something that he even acknowledged himself in the book!
It wasn't a deal breaker though, I could easily have looked passed it if the rest of the book was OK.
It wasn't.

Part&Parcel belongs in the Sidewinder series, so I naturally expected that it would be primarily focused on Nick and Kelly. I didn't mind the other Sidewinder members being there, not at all, but I realised very early in the book that Roux didn't actually know what to do with all these characters so it was very unclear what was the point of the book : was it Nick and Kelly's relationship? Was it saying goodbye to Eli? Was it Nick dealing with his issues? Was it Nick's suddenly revealed past? Was it Ty and Zane? It was none of these things and yet all of it at once, and it didn't make for good storytelling. It was a hot mess, actually.

Nick was not the Nick I got to know and root for in Divide&Conquer and definitely not the Nick I fell in love with in Shock&Awe. To put it bluntly, we was a sad sack throughout the whole book, constantly moping and brooding. And while I completely get why (he almost died and lost a friend) and while I generally like brooding men, Nick seemed to sulk about Kelly, and how he is not worthy of him, and all this nonsense. What happened to the confident Nick? The Nick who inspired all the others with his assertiveness? Yes, he lied to them in Crush&Burn, but come on! He is Nick! His team knows him and has been trusting him blindly for years. Plus, everything Nick had to do for Bell was explained in the end, and all his friends stood by him when he was in the hospital. If Kelly decided he didn't want to be with him after this, it's his decision to make. He is a mature man who has been through wars (!) Nick telling him he is not worthy of his love, is just ridiculous and just drama for the sake of drama. No need for all that. Just a nice, heartwarming story about saying goodbye to a friend concluding the series, would have been more than enough. It reminded me of Touch&Geaux so much, the "I have to create drama out of nowhere to keep the readers interested". No. No need. Yes, feel free to create drama when it's appropriate and suits the story, but when it's out of the blue just to fill the pages with something? Nah, I don't accept that.

Kelly was no better. He was actually the queen of drama, and I wasn't digging that at all. Making a whole thing about seeing an old sex tape of Nick's? Yeah, and? So what? Was he not allowed to have a life before Kelly? And all the back and forth of fighting and making up, and fighting again and then making up again, ugh. Very annoying and didn't serve any purpose.
The way both Nick and Kelly acted, I honestly believed they shouldn't be together. Gone was the sizzling chemistry they had in Sock&Awe. Reading Part&Parcel, you'd think they were this very old couple who got tired of each other and are just looking for a way out. That is how Roux's writing felt like to me-I sensed that by the end of it all, she was exhausted and just wanted to finally finish the book (repeating patterns, phrases, jokes etc.) Also, throwing some LGBTQ+ reps in the last 10 pages, doesn't compensate for the complete character destruction and lack of story.

Finally, the sex scenes, the one potentially redeeming quality of the book, were not great. It felt like Nick and Kelly's sexual chemistry and connection were completely gone, and I personally didn't feel anything going through those scenes. We're talking about the same two people who were hotness personified at the start of their relationship in Shock&Awe. What happened??

I don't know what else to say, I am deeply disappointed in this very weak ending of one of my favorite MM series.
That being said, I will always remember its good moments, and all the reasons that made me fall in love with its characters 🌟

*** 🥇 1st place - 3 way tie between Sticks&Stones, Stars&Stripes and Shock&Awe: these books give me life, I adore them ❤️
*** 🥈 2nd place - very close second is Fish&Chips (nothing better than a submissive Ty 😏)
*** 🥉3rd place - Divide&Conquer (hello Nick :)

READING: Cross & Crown (Sidewinder #2) by Abigail Roux

Publication date: June 9 2014

Published by: Riptide

Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Mystery, Suspense

Rating:

When Nick O'Flaherty arrives at the scene of a double homicide to find he has a witness to the crime, he thinks it’s his lucky day. But when he realizes his witness is suffering from amnesia and can’t even remember his own name, Nick wishes he’d gone with his gut and put in for vacation time.

Then Nick’s boyfriend and former Recon teammate, Kelly Abbott, joins him in Boston, and Nick finds his hands a little too full as the case and his personal life collide. The witness he’s dubbed “JD” is being tailed by Julian Cross, a retired CIA hitman. To complicate matters further, JD forms an attachment to Nick that Nick struggles not to respond to as they search for the key to JD’s identity.

Trying to determine whether JD is friend or foe as they investigate the crime puts them on the trail of a much older mystery. When multiple attempts are made on their lives, Nick is forced to turn to old enemies and new allies to solve a centuries-old crime before he and Kelly get added to the history books.

 

Very disappointed 😕
I don’t think I have ever rated an Abigail Roux book below 3 stars-not even Ball & Chain which is my least favorite of the C&R series-so you can imagine my dislike for this book. And after Shock & Awe, which I absolutely adore? Ts ts how could you do this to me Mrs. Roux??

I feel like every beautiful and loving aspect of Nick and Kelly’s relationship built in just 125 pages in Sock & Awe, was torn apart in the 225 pages of Cross and Crown, and quite easily actually. I have to admit, I am not a Julian fan. I don’t know what it is. Maybe because I don’t get his relationship with Cameron (like at all), or maybe because he just blends together with all the other alpha, macho males in every Abigail Roux book. He is not something that I have not seen before, therefore he is boring to me.
That being said, Julian is the least of this book’s problems, he didn’t even register.

My issue is: what happened to Nick and Kelly’s chemistry??? And I am not even talking about the sizzling hot connection they shared in S&A. I am talking about their genuine close friendship and comradery. Their scenes felt real forced, and it felt like reading about two strangers. They lost that familiarity and ease they had in S&A and all the previous C&R books, and I never really got why. Granted, they were still trying to figure out their relationship, but they seemed to had it all figured out at the start, but now all of a sudden not so much. There was always something not quite right between them and their scenes were even awkward sometimes.
Yes, and the sex ones. 😟 Not much joy there, as I personally thought their sex scenes were cringey, and they made things even worse.

Kelly seemed to suddenly be on the fence about his relationship with Nick, even though he kept insisting he was in love with him. There always seemed to be doubt in his mind and he, more than Nick, would find a million excuses, like Nick’s work (super unfair to Nick) him living far away, to name a few, to try and justify his uncertainty. He never stopped to think that the only problem was that he was scared shitless to commit to Nick! I would much rather he admitted it, than being a whingey sook for the whole book. Again – this is not the Kelly I knew! I don’t know what came over him in Cross & Crown. Personally, I believe Roux created too much drama over absolutely nothing (or at least issues that could very easily been discussed and resolved) thus weakening the characters, and losing focus of what really mattered.

Nick was pretty much the same, but he too lost his strong and confident personality. He allowed himself to be led by Kelly’s whims, no matter how irrational. I completely disagree with other readers claiming that Nick is turning into Superman like Ty, not at all. I think the opposite, if anything. It gave me the impression that Nick was way more in love and committed to Kelly than Kelly, and that was so not the case in Shock and Awe.
Sigh.

The story was not notable, in my opinion. There was nothing engaging or interesting about the mystery and that made me not really care about any of the secondary characters who were just decorative.
I adore Nick. I loved him since the beginning – getting flashbacks from Divide & Conquer now ❤️ Where is THAT Nick? Bring him back! Or at least naturally change him for the better.

I am warning you know 👉
If you ruin Nick for me on what looks like the last book in the series, I will never forgive you 😭

READING: The Woman in The Window by A.J.Finn

Publication date: January 2 2018

Published by: William Morrow

Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Thriller, Mystery, Suspense, Crime

Rating: 

Anna Fox lives alone, a recluse in her New York City home, unable to venture outside. She spends her day drinking wine (maybe too much), watching old movies, recalling happier times . . . and spying on her neighbors.

Then the Russells move into the house across the way: a father, a mother and their teenage son. The perfect family. But when Anna, gazing out her window one night, sees something she shouldn’t, her world begins to crumble and its shocking secrets are laid bare.

What is real? What is imagined? Who is in danger? Who is in control?

Whenever I read a thriller or a whodunnit, I always like to picture the most unlikely scenario in my head, the most impossible thing that might happen. For one thing, I have watched waaaaay to many TV shows of the same or similar genre, so my mind immediately goes to the most absurd. Second, I am one of those jackasses that always loves to say "Ha! I knew it!". So, if the book does something way beyond my most out there imaginings and it explains it well and is not completely silly, then I consider it a success.
Unfortunately, this book did not. *sad trumpet*

But! That doesn't take anything away from it because to Finn's defense, he thought the most impossible thing I could think, so kudos for that. If only he surpassed it, it would have been one hell of a book.
I loved the setting: dark, old four level brownstone in New York gave it a proper manor mystery vibe.
I also really liked Anna. She is the perfect unreliable narrator, being almost always drunk and heavily medicated. I guess all books of the genre need one of those, but since the trope has been done to death, I dismissed the theory of Anna actually having anything to do with the murder straight away, it would have been too easy for Finn to resort to that and it would have made for a cheap book.

The ending was fine I guess, a bit more disturbing than I anticipated. I thought it was a bit rushed, but I guess that's how it always is with these books: once the murderer has been revealed, what is the point?
I would say however that The Woman in The Window is more about Anna and her trauma (extreme agoraphobia sounds horrifying) than anything else, really. And that sets it apart from the other books of its genre. It could easily stand by itself, but the mystery and the black&white horror film references give it that extra zhuzh.

READING: The Outsider by Stephen King

Publication date: May 22 2018

Published by: Scribner

Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Horror, Crime, Dark, Mystery, Some Paranormal, Suspense 

Rating: 

When an eleven-year-old boy is found murdered in a town park, reliable eyewitnesses undeniably point to the town's popular Little League coach, Terry Maitland, as the culprit. DNA evidence and fingerprints confirm the crime was committed by this well-loved family man.

Horrified by the brutal killing, Detective Ralph Anderson, whose own son was once coached by Maitland, orders the suspect to be arrested in a public spectacle. But Maitland has an alibi. And further research confirms he was indeed out of town that day.

As Anderson and the District Attorney trace the clues, the investigation expands from Ohio to Texas. And as horrifying answers begin to emerge, so King's propulsive story of almost unbearable suspense kicks into high gear.

Terry Maitland seems like a nice guy but there is one rock-hard fact, as unassailable as gravity: a man cannot be in two places at the same time. Can he?

I can't believe I'm saying this, but The Outsider TV show is way better :/ The first 4 episodes gave me nightmares and I will never forget the image of a bloody Jason Bateman 😖

That being said, the story is 100% King, and it is horrifying. I would have liked it to be less paranormal and more "we all have an evil twin out there somewhere", but anyway. I felt like it dragged a lot towards the end and apart from Holly and Ralph, all the other characters are almost invisible. Even Terry and Jack - especially Jack with literally no backstory whatsoever. Come to think of it, never really saw much of a connection between Holly and Ralph either :/
Also I am sorry to say, but the dialogue Holly and Ralph had with the "thing" at the end, was almost comical. No idea how it's going to be show on TV.

All in all, first half of the book was great because the story draws you in. Once you realise what is going on, it gets boring really fast. Imagine that almost half of the book could fit into 3 episodes= 3hours. Yikes.

READING: Ninth House (Alex Stern #1) by Leigh Bardugo

Publication date: October 8 2019

Published by: Flatiron Books

Genre: Adult, College, Contemporary, Paranormal, Dark, Crime, Mystery, Suspense

Rating: 

Galaxy “Alex” Stern is the most unlikely member of Yale’s freshman class. Raised in the Los Angeles hinterlands by a hippie mom, Alex dropped out of school early and into a world of shady drug dealer boyfriends, dead-end jobs, and much, much worse. By age twenty, in fact, she is the sole survivor of a horrific, unsolved multiple homicide. Some might say she’s thrown her life away. But at her hospital bed, Alex is offered a second chance: to attend one of the world’s most elite universities on a full ride. What’s the catch, and why her?

Still searching for answers to this herself, Alex arrives in New Haven tasked by her mysterious benefactors with monitoring the activities of Yale’s secret societies. These eight windowless “tombs” are well-known to be haunts of the future rich and powerful, from high-ranking politicos to Wall Street and Hollywood’s biggest players. But their occult activities are revealed to be more sinister and more extraordinary than any paranoid imagination might conceive.

I don’t know where to start with this book 🤔

As soon as I finished the Six of Crows duology, I immediately went to Goodreads to see what is coming up from Leigh Bardugo. When saw that The Ninth House was scheduled for late 2019, I almost wet my pants! I love books about college and at that point I was obsessed with Bardugo. So her writing an adult book about secret societies in Yale was just too much for me. Needless to say, that since then (April 2017), The Ninth House was the most anticipated book release for me. I was 100% sure it would be the most amazing, awesome book I had ever read (not having high expectations AT ALL!). 
After the initial lukewarm and straight up bad reviews, I was a bit disappointed but my interest and excitement never wavered. I just had to get my hands on this book! 

Long story short, the book was great but not what I was expecting at all 😕
I wanted intrigue, mystery, secrets and in part I got all that, but I didn’t expect the paranormal element to be so prominent, it threw me off a little bit. I would have much preferred a contemporary novel. But that’s on me, it has nothing to do with the quality of the book itself.

Another thing I didn't expect was how gritty and, for lack of a better word, miserable this book is. There is no respite from the constant reminder that people are horrible, bad guys always win and life is pointless.
In other words: it was such a downer. And I like downer books, but that was overkill. The hardest thing for me and the reason I didn’t quite get into it as much as I would have liked, was the fact that I didn’t really care for anyone. Alex was the ultimate anti-heroine and a very difficult person to like. The rest of the characters were all pretty terrible except for:

1.Alex’s friends, whose bubbliness was completely out of place and made them stand out like unicorns in a tar pit
2. and Darlington, who was the best part of the book for me, regretfully cut very short. Hopefully, he gets a much bigger presence in book 2 but I have to be honest: it took a lot out of me to read book 1 (three weeks to be exact) a lot of perseverance and patience, so forgive me if I can’t even think about book 2 right now.

All that aside, there were times where Bardugo’s brilliant writing and vision shone very brightly. Like for instance when

Alex goes to the Underworld to strike a deal with North, I thought it was such an awesome scene. I really liked North and Alex together.

 
Or when 

the night at Ground Zero was described -like watching Kill Bill-that good. Or gross and disgusting, depending on your view.

Speaking of disgusting, that whole thing with Blake: Nah, it didn’t bother me at all. He deserved way worse.

To conclude this pretty lengthy and all over the place review, I get why people didn’t like the Ninth House. Most of Bardugo’s readers are YA readers and even though it was mentioned sooooo many times that this is an adult book, Bardugo’s fans would still read it and of course get disappointed because this is DEFINITELY NOT a YA book. 
Personally, I would have liked it to have been more fast-paced and a lot less bleak. If I don’t have someone to root for or care for what happens to them, I kinda lose interest. Hero/villain it doesn't matter, as long as they are gripping enough to get me invested. So, please bring Darlington back OK? 

READING: The Verdict by Olivia Isaac Henry

Publication date: August 12 2019

Published by: One More Chapter

Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Crime, Suspense, Mystery

Rating:

A cheating wife. An estranged mother. But is she guilty of murder? 

Please raise your right hand.
An affair at work has cost Julia Winter her job and her marriage. There’s no denying she has let her family down.
 Please remain standing.
When a body is discovered on the North Downs, it hits local headlines. But for Julia, the news is doubly shocking because the body was buried just opposite the house she lived in over twenty years ago. And it is one of her former housemates.
 Please resume your seat.
Up on the stand, Julia’s not the only person to have secrets that are unearthed during the trial. But the evidence against her is overwhelming.
 
And yet one question remains: is she the murderer, or the victim?
 
Jurors, you may be excused.

What a find!
I knew nothing about The Verdict going in; only that it was a mystery/thriller and judging by the title, I assumed there was a court case involved somehow..? 
I was really pleasantly surprised by The Verdict. Well, as pleasantly surprised as someone can be by the horrible things that happen to the characters. 

I know it’ll sound strange, but I loved how plain Julia was. You know how in books the main characters no matter how hard they try to be written as “simple”, they still have a characteristic, a trait that makes them different? Too smart, too pretty, too cynical, too optimistic whatever it is, it’s something that makes them stand out in a way? Julia had none of that, and as a reader I really appreciated it. She was described as completely unremarkable and un-noteworthy. She was living a pretty sad life but she never blamed anyone else but herself. She knew she was a passive pushover and that would probably never going to change. She was still judgemental of others though, a trait I’m pretty sure she got from her mom with whom she didn’t have the best relationship. She easily judged others for making wrong choices while she was fully aware that she made worse. She was a very confused, sad woman and I felt so sorry for her. That is why I occasionally love reading books from non-American authors. I find them to be much more raw and real as opposed to American novels which tend to be a bit more glamorised for the masses.
The rest of the characters were equally well crafted (especially Genevieve-loved her!) and they all had an important part to play, they weren’t just background noise. 

The story was great, even though it lacked the huge big finish. I expected that though, since it’s easy to predict what will happen in the end from early on. There was one thing I definitely did not see coming and it was a pretty good “twist” but as far as the main story is concerned, it was simple and there is nothing wrong with that. A lot of emphasis was given on the trial and the suspects’ testimonies which had me sitting on the edge of my seat.

The only thing I didn’t particularly like was how Julia’s relationship with her mother gets fixed with a bland “I didn’t know” from her mother in the end. I don’t think it’s an adequate enough excuse after a lifetime of putting her down and never taking her side.
Also, don’t get discouraged if you find it quite slow pacing at first. It picks up after 35% or so.
There was a lot of back and forth with different periods of time, and even though I don't mind when it is done properly and the reader knows where and when they are the entire time like this one, some people may find it confusing and tiring so I thought I'd let you know.

I went through a lot of “Read now” books on NetGalley to find The Verdict and I’m glad I did. It was a powerful and realistic take on an abused woman’s life, and where her unassertiveness and very bad decisions led her. I’d recommend it to mystery and courtroom drama fans.

READING: These Shallow Graves by Jennifer Donnelly

Publication date: October 27 2015
Published by: Random House
Genre: Young Adult, Historical, Crime, Mystery, Suspense 
Rating: 

Jo Montfort is beautiful and rich, and soon—like all the girls in her class—she’ll graduate from finishing school and be married off to a wealthy bachelor. Which is the last thing she wants. Jo secretly dreams of becoming a writer—a newspaper reporter like the trailblazing Nellie Bly.

Wild aspirations aside, Jo’s life seems perfect until tragedy strikes: her father is found dead. Charles Montfort accidentally shot himself while cleaning his revolver. One of New York City’s wealthiest men, he owned a newspaper and was partner in a massive shipping firm, and Jo knows he was far too smart to clean a loaded gun.

The more Jo uncovers about her father’s death, the more her suspicions grow. There are too many secrets. And they all seem to be buried in plain sight. Then she meets Eddie—a young, brash, infuriatingly handsome reporter at her father’s newspaper—and it becomes all too clear how much she stands to lose if she keeps searching for the truth. Only now it might be too late to stop.

I thought These Shallow Graves was going to be another one of Donnelly’s epic HRs, with strong characters and an exciting, addictive plot.
Though still enjoyable, I felt like it lacked the spark and that something extra that would make it stand out from other books of its kind.

The characters, whilst well written, were all one dimensional - the good guys all but wore a superman cape, and the bad guys might as well be sitting on a chair petting a cat with a ringed pinkie! Their reactions were a bit childish at times, especially Jo’s, and it reminded me more of a middle grade book than the books I was used to by Donnelly up until this point. 
That being said, Jo transforms right at the end, giving us a glimpse of how wonderful this book could be if the characters had more room to grow instead of spending all this time on the “whodunnit” aspect of the book.
After the legendary love stories Donnelly has given us, I admit I was unpleasantly surprised by Jo and Eddie’s insta love. Especially considering Jo’s upbringing; it was totally out of the blue and way early in the story for her to fall in love with a complete stranger. Fortunately, they did have chemistry, which was their saving grace, along with the amazing ending Donnelly decided to give them, showcasing Jo’s strength and determination to start her life and rebuild relationships from the beginning.

As for the mystery part of it, I wasn’t impressed. I knew from the start who was behind it all and I thought if my naive dumbass self is right, then it was pretty obvious. It just frustrated me even more when instead of learning more about and understanding the characters, the majority of the book was used up explaining in length what was basically a kid’s mystery plot.

If you’re looking for a murder/mystery book with a light and breezy romance targeted at very young adults, then These Shallow Graves is the book for you.
I wasn’t looking for that :/

READING: Bad Girls with Perfect Faces by Lynn Weingarten

Publication date: October 31 2017
Published by: Simon Pulse
Genre: New Adult, Contemporary, Dark, Mystery, Suspense, Thriller, Crime, High School
Rating: 

When Sasha’s best friend Xavier gets back together with his cheating ex, Ivy, Sasha knows she needs to protect him. So she poses as a guy online to lure Ivy away.

But Sasha’s plan goes sickeningly wrong. And she soon learns to be careful of who you pretend to be because you might be surprised by who you become… 

This is one of my all over the place reviews, I apologise in advance 😬

I want to preface this by saying that I have been obsessed with teen true crime docus lately. After watching I love you, now die I was in shock, and in all honesty, terrified of the workings of the teenage mind. Also, binging Euphoria episodes didn't help 🙁

After watching these, I mentally went back to the 90s when I was a teenager and tried to remember if I was remotely the same, if I had similar thoughts and emotions and I just didn't express them so loudly.
While at first I emphatically denied being anything like "them", after mulling it over I actually remembered times when I too had dark thoughts, when I too was extremely lonely, when I too felt like shit. Unfortunately, this is what adolescence is: it universally sucks. And it mostly sucks because of other people, and the way they choose to treat you and see you as.

That was me in the 90s when I could count these people on one hand. 
Now, you can take this handful of people and multiply them by a billion, because that is how many people have the right to have an opinion about you now and talk in any way they want about you. 
The internet: what a marvel.

So when a 18 year old boy kills himself because his girlfriend texted him to do it, I can't help but wonder: what's next?

---

What does that have to do with Bad Girls with Perfect Faces you ask. Something similar happens in this book when Ivy starts chatting with a guy named Jake who DMed her on Instagram, and who she's never met in person. Ivy starts to get very close to Jake, believing that he is the only one that gets her and really sees her. It is only after they agree to meet in person that things go horribly wrong. 
Something I am 100% sure I would never do in my teens, or rather knew better than to do: meet a stranger in the woods.
I mean, it's common sense right? I don't want to victim blame or anything like that, but 
1. how can you be sure this person you, a teenage girl, is talking to, is not a sexual predator??
2. how do you agree to meet him in person?? 
Where is this behaviour, this mentality stemming from? Kids are definitely way more educated in these matters now than I was back then, but they also seem to have this cavalier and daredevil attitude which we definitely didn't have. Can someone please explain it to me because I don't get it at all.

I am obviously not going to reveal any spoilers here, but I have to admit that I did not see any of the twists coming, so the mystery/suspense part was very compelling.
But what made this book so riveting, was its characters: Sasha, Xavier and Ivy.
Sasha and Xavier are best friends. Sasha is this no nonsense, sure of herself, but for some reason quite detached, girl and Xavier is this sweet, goofy guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. After Xavier gets back together with Ivy, who completely ruined him when she first dumbed him, Sasha is determined to do aaaanything to save her best friend from being hurt again, and finally tell him she's in love with him.

Ivy was a hateful girl, who enjoyed stringing people along and emotionally abusing them. She had no redeeming qualities whatsoever (none that I could see) and I was finding it very hard to understand why Xavier, this kind hearted guy, would ever be so in love with this girl. He said Ivy was so fearless and I guess that's what he loved about her. But Ivy was fearless because she had never faced any consequences for her actions. Xavier, and I guess all the other people in her life, always made excuses for her, justifying her actions as "Ivy being Ivy". They were all essentially enabling this deeply troubled teenage girl to be even more mean, more evil, to test people's limits and bring them to their breaking point. 

So you'd think that Sasha trying everything to save her best friend from Ivy's clutches would make her the hero.
Not quite so.
Sasha is immensely jealous of Ivy. She often wonders why all the guys were into Ivy when she was so clearly vile and "not that attractive". She decides to create this fake Insta profile and DM Ivy to catch her in the act and then prove to Xavier that "See? She has been cheating with you all this time." 
After the incident though, all that changes. Weingarten does an amazing job here, shifting 1st person narration to 2nd, showing how Sasha had to leave her body and become someone else in order to do what needs to be done and how, once it's done, she comes back to life in a sense with narration changing back to 1st. She is driven by such a deep love for Xavier, that is willing to do the unthinkable to save him. I loved Sasha and I think her and Ivy were the most interesting characters. 

That being said, I found Xavier weak, especially for a guy who has two girls "fighting" over him. He never really showed any backbone in his relationship with both Ivy and Sasha, and he very willingly let himself be led throughout the whole book. 
I would have also liked for Gwen to have a bigger presence in the book so the final twist could make more sense and have an even bigger impact.
Also, I think the CAPS in her narrative were pointless.
I loved the bleak, non HEA ending. After everything these kids did, it would completely ruin the book if everything ended up fine and dandy. They deserved an even worse ending if you ask me.

This is a dark, twisted story about an angry, confused girl who did a very bad thing. I am not sure if it's an appropriate read for pre teens, but what do I know? I read Carrie when I was 10.
These kinds of books are my jam, and I really really enjoyed this one. I have to say though, I am very surprised at the low ratings of Weingarten's other books. I wonder if it's because they are really that bad, or because YA readers had different expectations going in? I mean, I heard Bad Girls described as a love triangle and pff that can't be further from the truth. It's sad how many great books go unnoticed or negatively critiqued because of bad marketing.

READING: Stillhouse Lake (Stillhouse Lake #1) by Rachel Caine

Publication date: July 1 2017
Published by: Thomas & Mercer
Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Violence, Mystery, Suspense, Thriller, Crime
Rating: 

Gina Royal is the definition of average—a shy Midwestern housewife with a happy marriage and two adorable children. But when a car accident reveals her husband’s secret life as a serial killer, she must remake herself as Gwen Proctor—the ultimate warrior mom.

With her ex now in prison, Gwen has finally found refuge in a new home on remote Stillhouse Lake. Though still the target of stalkers and Internet trolls who think she had something to do with her husband’s crimes, Gwen dares to think her kids can finally grow up in peace.

But just when she’s starting to feel at ease in her new identity, a body turns up in the lake—and threatening letters start arriving from an all-too-familiar address. Gwen Proctor must keep friends close and enemies at bay to avoid being exposed—or watch her kids fall victim to a killer who takes pleasure in tormenting her. One thing is certain: she’s learned how to fight evil. And she’ll never stop.

This is the first Rachel Caine book I've read after finishing the Morganville Vampire series. 
So, a looong time.

Stillhouse Lake is very different than MV. Not only story wise, or that it's not paranormal, but most importantly the writing. I could not find Rachel Caine anywhere in the book, nothing reminded me of her writing style. That wasn't necessarily bad, it just took me aback a bit. 

Stillhouse started off great-horrifying story of a woman who finds out her husband is a monster, and her struggle to reinvent herself while simultaneously trying to protect her two kids from people who want to hurt her.
The story kept my attention for the first half, but after that the pace slowed down significantly and I was quite honestly, bored. 

It didn't help that I didn't really connect with the MC, Gina/Gwen. She was so obsessed over protecting her kids from invisible internet people that wanted to do them harm, that she couldn't see what living in that constant state of paranoia was really doing to her kids. I mean sure, the lady was scarred for life after what she went through, but why do her kids need to be reminded of it everyday? A bit of normalcy is what they needed and she just couldn't see it. When she realised it and tried to give it to her kids, she went so off character, that it just didn't work.
Also, I didn't like that her acquittal was just brushed off with no further details. Other things of little importance were explained to death, but this? How did a woman who lived under the same roof as a serial killer, who had all these dead bodies in her garage, got acquitted so easily and quickly? Doesn't make much legal sense.

The ending was very convenient (she knew how to extensively search for people who thought she was guilty and wanted to punish her, but not for copycats....?), with an anticipated cliff-hanger.
There were also a lot of red herrings throughout the book - Gina/Gwen was so convinced that so and so was the creep stalking them, that she made me change my mind completely about that person, only for her to be completely wrong, and I was forced to go back liking them. That happened with ALL the characters in the book, so in the end I knew who the bad guy was by method of elimination.

I am a bit disappointed at this book, considering its very strong start. But as thriller books go, I've definitely read better ones.

READING: The Perfect Nanny by Leila Slimani

Publication date: January 9 2018
Published by: Penguin
Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Violence, Mystery, Suspense, Thriller, Crime
Rating: 

When Myriam decides to return to work as a lawyer after having children, she and her husband look for the perfect nanny for their son and daughter. They never dreamed they would find Louise: a quiet, polite, devoted woman who sings to the children, cleans the family’s chic Paris apartment, stays late without complaint, and hosts enviable kiddie parties. But as the couple and the nanny become more dependent on one another, jealousy, resentment, and suspicions mount, shattering the idyllic tableau.


Let's get something very clear: The Perfect Nanny - or Lullaby as is the Australian title, which I personally prefer - is NOT a Gone Girl kind of book. It is falsely advertised as such, and I guess that is also the reason for its bad ratings.
There is no mystery the reader needs to solve, no unexpected twists, no wow moment in the end. They are simply unnecessary.

Lullaby is about a mentally unstable nanny who murders two children.
Why should you care?
The writing and the characters, that's why. Because *gasp* sometimes it's all about that.

I was obsessed with the portrayal of Louise (the nanny). I think Slimani did such an amazing job describing every aspect of Louise's soul and turning the impression I initially had of her on its head, which was eventually the big twist in the book.
In the beginning you think Louise is this poor, down-on-her-luck, lonely woman, previously married to an awful man and with a difficult, runaway daughter, and who was driven to commit this horrendous crime because of a very hard life and previous bad experiences.
As the book progresses however, and Louise's desolation grows, it becomes more and more apparent that she always was this disturbed, sick and secretly violent woman, and I will honestly admit that I was terrified of her. I mean, who can forget the chicken carcass scene? 😨
Even though her physical appearance is frequently described, to me Louise was always this mirage, this malevolent, evil spirit, wreaking havoc in Paris. There is a scene towards the end when Myriam is in the car, sees Louise across the street and looks at her in a similar way, like seeing her for the first time and realising her true self.
Also, even in Louise's scenes away from the parents and kids, she is described as "the nanny", which I found very interesting, like she didn't have any other identity apart from that. 

Slimani did the same awesome job portraying Myriam: book starts with her admitting how much she hates what she's become and her life as a stay-at home-mom. She is extremely bitter towards her husband who got to keep his job and she longs for a life outside of her family, a big career. As soon as she finds Louise, who is considered by all the perfect nanny, cook and cleaner, she does a complete 180, her life suddenly becoming brighter and easier. She and her husband thrive at their jobs, they get reconnected and they become overall happier. All because of Louise.

A lot talk about an unsatisfying ending, but I completely disagree. I see no reason behind explicit murder scenes, explained in ridiculous detail.
We know what happened, we find out on page 1. Louise, Myriam and Paul-they were gory and horrid enough for me. 
As for why Louise did it - if you don't know by the end, you're probably not reading it right 😳

I want to say so much about Lullaby, but I don't want to spoil it for you guys. I wish I could read it as it was originally written in French, because there is always a minor disconnect in english translated books and this one was no exception. 
Lullaby is an exceptionally written, highly addictive, intense and disturbing book that I would definitely still think about for days to come.
Read it.