READING: Quis Custodiet (The Administration #5) by Manna Francis

Publication date: October 1 2009
Published by: Casperian Books
Genre: MM, Adult, Dark, BDSM, Dystopian, Mystery, Sci Fi
Rating: 

No protests, no bombings, no subversion. Is it possible that in one part of the European Administration at least, almost all the citizens are happy with their lot in life? It seems unlikely. When the numbers don't add up at the Athens branch of the Investigation and Interrogation Division, Para-investigator Toreth is sent there from New London to review their procedures. With sunshine, a less-than-urgent assignment, and hosts who seem anxious to ensure that he has a good time, it seems like the perfect chance for a holiday on Administration time.

Or it would if he didn't have to leave Sara and the rest of his regular team behind. Working alone for once, as the investigation becomes more complex Toreth finds himself surrounded by people he can't trust. Worse than that, he has to leave Warrick on his own in New London, a situation further complicated by the reappearance of an old adversary.

Maybe I'm a bit biased because this story takes place in my home country and birthplace, but I loved it! Francis's depiction of Greek mentality and behaviour was spot on, and even though everyone speaks English in the Administration, the cultural identity was very distinct. 

The mystery part of the story was very well thought out, with a lot of suspense and intrigue, leaving room for a follow up book later. 

Toreth does something way out of line (must be a day of the week ending in "y") which he keeps secret from Warrick. When Warrick finds out, I expected all hell to break loose. Instead, Warrick does his best angry face for five minutes, Toreth apologises and he promises never to do such thing again (like he hasn't promised that in every book!) and he gets away with a slap on the wrist and probably a great fuck by the end of the day. 
I got so angry with Warrick who is so blinded by his love for Toreth, he doesn't realise how badly he is treated. Although sometimes, I have a feeling he, very obediently and patiently, puts up with it all because in his way he manipulates Toreth as well, he sculpts him into a better, more humane version of himself. Very, very slowly and painstakingly. 
Or he is just that submissive.
Either or. 

Loved the scene in the tub when Warrick dunked Toreth and he freaked out. Always gives me a thrill when Toreth is scared!

T:Can I use your shower?
P:I see no reason why not-since you already have my heart.

Paul, you're fab, I love you ❤️

READING: Control (The Administration #4) by Manna Francis

Publication date: May 1 2009
Published by: Casperian Books
Genre: MM, Adult, Dark, BDSM, Dystopian, Mystery, Sci Fi
Rating: 

Gaining it, keeping it, or losing it, control is more than just a game--it's a critical tool for survival. No more so than in the Administration, where the Investigation and Interrogation Division's Val Toreth faces professional and personal hazards every day. And when an attack on one of the most loyal and valued members of his investigative team makes the professional very personal indeed, Toreth finds himself entangled once more in the darker side of corporate life and crime. He'll need help, not just from his colleagues but from his "regular fuck" Keir Warrick, to make it out the other end safely.

Even away from their offices, Toreth and Warrick find that their jobs create challenges and tensions that threaten their relationship, because finding a balance is all about knowing when to keep control and when to let it go.

Love seeing Toreth scared, it's my new favourite thing! Although I have to admit, he wasn't nearly as terrified as he was in Mindfuck. In Control he was more pissed off and humiliated (They made me kneel) resigned to the idea that he was going to die because of something he did, as opposed to Mindfuck which totally took him by surprise and it was through no fault of his own. 

What surprised me though is that all this time he was kept prisoner, from the moment he was taken, to the moment he was certain they would kill him, to the moment he arrived at Warrick's, not once did he think of him. Not that he loved him and he regretted so many things he didn't say or do, no, none of that. But maybe a "I wish I could fuck Warrick one last time before I die" or something like that. Nope, not even that.
I was a bit disappointed, I'm not gonna lie but it's all my fault for expecting "romantic" like thoughts from Toreth. I should know better by now.

READING: Quid Pro Quo (The Administration #2) by Manna Francis

Publication date: May 27 2008
Published by: Casperian Books
Genre: MM, Adult, Dark, BDSM, Dystopian, Mystery, Sci Fi
Rating: 

When he agrees to do a favor for his old friend Liz Carey in Corporate Fraud, Para-investigator Val Toreth is hoping for a simple case. After all, kidnapping and dismemberment are all in a day's work for the Investigation and Interrogation Division. But in the European Administration, simplicity is often a dangerous illusion, and anyone who goes looking for trouble in the corporate world is certain to find more than they bargained for. Fraud, sabotage, espionage, blackmail, decades-long vendettas, and murder--the more powerful the corporations, the darker their secrets. Corporate insiders and innocent bystanders alike are all too easily caught up in the conflicts, but when suspects can hide behind money and power, what chance is there of any justice?

And on top of everything else, Toreth also has to deal with Keir Warrick. But that's easy. That's just sex.

The main story of the second book is Quid Pro Quo and that's what I'm going to review here, since I rated the short stories individually

QPQ is about a corporate daughter's kidnapping and how Toreth and his team are trying to solve the case . The very careful and precise structure of the story and the amount of detail that went in it, is astonishing. Every character has a reason for being there contributing to the story, as very evidence and fact of the case is important. With no romantic reprieve (Toreth's has almost no interaction with Warrick in this one) you are constantly learning new facts about the kidnapping that usually come from Toreth's team brainstorming scenes. 

For me personally it got a tad tiring in the middle, with no break from the case and most importantly no break from Toreth! The book is entirely told from his POV and let's just say it is not the easiest thing reading such a convoluted book through a sociopath's eyes. His constant false sense of superiority and the way he regards and measures other people up, is sometimes very hard to overlook. Sometimes he is such an asshole that I found it unpleasant (to say the least) being in his head all the time. 

Other than that, mystery and suspense were all there, albeit a bit clinical, but then again that's how The Administration and the corporate world is, which the more I learn about, the more disgusting I found.
I missed Warrick, I'm not going to lie, mostly because through him, Toreth looks a bit saner. Knowing that someone actually likes him and have feelings for him, makes him slightly more human. Only slightly!

READING: Mind Fuck (The Administration #1) by Manna Francis

Publication date: October 29 2007
Published by: Casperian Books
Genre: MM, Adult, Dark, BDSM, Dystopian, Mystery, Sci Fi
Rating: 

There are no bad guys or good guys. There are only better guys and worse guys.

One of the worse guys is Val Toreth. In a world in which torture is a legitimate part of the investigative process, he works for the Investigation and Interrogation Division, where his colleagues can be more dangerous than the criminals he investigates.

One of the better guys is Keir Warrick. His small corporation, SimTech, is developing a "sim" system that places users in a fully immersive virtual reality. A minnow in a murky and dangerous pond, he is only beginning to discover how many compromises may be required for success.

Their home is the dark future dystopia of New London. A totalitarian bureaucracy controls the European Administration, sharing political power with the corporations. The government uses violence and the many divisions of the feared Department of Internal Security to maintain control and crush resistance. The corporations fight among themselves, using lethal force under the euphemism of "corporate sabotage," uniting only to resist attempts by the Administration to extend its influence over them.

Toreth and Warrick are more natural enemies than allies. But mutual attraction and the fight for survival can create unlikely bonds. 

It took me a while to hop on the Administration train, but I'm glad I did!

Mindfuck is so unlike any other mm I've read; it's basically a sci fi/dystopian whodunnit with a splash of romance, if you can call whatever Toreth and Warrick have "romance". Even though it is very high techy and futuristic, it reads more like a crime noir book, or rather a regency crime.

Mindfuck is written almost to perfection. The story is so dense and detailed but never ever boring. It has a lot of scientific terms (neuroscience, psychology) and you have to pay very close attention because they are all pertinent to the case, you need them to understand the kind of world these people live in, and they are also very interesting and fascinating. Simulated reality makes for a very compelling and terrifying notion that adds to the whole murder/mystery vibe.
I hope we see more of it in the future. 

Toreth is a senior investigator and interrogator which in the world of Administration means he is a sociopath.
He leaves by a strict and specific set of moral rules mostly because their application would serve and benefit him. He's driven by self interest only, hates incompetence and has a total disregard for human life if it means ending it will help him in any way. He interrogates and tortures people for a living. "I fuck minds" he very proudly declares to Warrick when they first meet. 
The only real and close relationship he has is with his personal assistant Sara, who, it's evident, he cares for deeply. Why is that and how it all works with his twisted and evil personality? I guess we'll find out in later books. We only have tiny flashes of the characters' back stories but I've bee assured we'll get more later, there are 9 books after all.

Warrick is a tough one to figure out. He is not as straightforwardly monstrous as Toreth but there is a dormant darkness inside him and the only reason it doesn't come out is that his morality is stronger than Toreth's and he more easily distinguishes good from bad. And even if he doesn't sometimes, he at least exhibits some kind of remorse, as opposed to Toreth. Still, his arrogance can only match Toreth's and they always try to one up each other, right until Toreth realises what Warrick truely is after in their "relationship". Then the games start. 

Absolutely fascinating read, can't wait to see how it all plays out!

READING: Tick Tock by Jane Harvey-Berrick

Publication date: November 1 2018
Published by: Harvey Berrick Publishing
Genre: Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Military
Rating: 

James Spears is part of an elite group who lives and breathes danger. Where others run from it, he walks towards it, calm, focussed ice-cold. James is a top EOD operative.
Explosive…
Ordnance…
Disposal…

You’d call him a bomb disposal expert. Or crazy. A guy with a death wish. He’s heard it all before and he doesn’t give a shit. He’s the best. 
They say he doesn’t have blood in his veins, he has ice. They say he has no nerves.
All that’s about to be tested.

Amira is recruited by the CIA to infiltrate a terrorist cell living in rural Pennsylvania. She’s the perfect plant, no one would ever suspect her. Because her brother was killed when a bomb was dropped on the Syrian hospital where he was working as a doctor. And now hate burns deeply inside her. She’s perfect.

That’s what they tell James when he’s told to train her to be the best damn bomb-maker there is. In a secret camp, deep in the woods, James teaches her everything he knows about building bombs. He’s not a praying man, but now he’s really hoping that he’s doing the right thing.

Can he trust her? Will she ever trust him? Who is playing who? And who will pay the ultimate price?

Cover fail 👎

I am a bit disappointed, to be honest. Berrick wrote the awesome, amazing The Education of Sebastian and I put a lot of faith in her when I decided to read Tick Tock. But not only it was not nearly as good as EoS, it was very rushed, the story not believable and the romance did not make any sense.

I knew that writing about suicide bombers and terrorism would be a bit dicey, especially from an American romance author, but surprisingly enough, religion and race were not my main problem with TT.

The problem was the underwhelming and undeveloped story and characters.
Amira and James, the MCs, were likable enough (James more than Amira) but nothing more. We learn next to nothing about their lives before the events in the book, and that made it really hard for me to care about them.
Amira’s “recruitment” process was almost laughable; she was supposed to be an American spy infiltrating a terrorism cell operating in US soil after, what? 8 days of training? And she kept passing out, crying and vomiting, but no! She could do it, because she was so strong and brave. Yeah, ridiculous. After that, it was very hard for the story to catch my interest, which got even more far-fetched as it went along.

The romance between James and Amira was even worse. I never felt any deep connection between them, other than the fact that they were a man and a woman at a remote place, scared out of their minds, who just sought comfort in each other. That would have been great, if it wasn’t for Amira’s very strict adherence to her faith (she didn’t even eat in the presence of men!) which made her having sex with a guy she barely knew almost off putting. She was prepared to risk her life for her faith and she just defies it that easily? What is that supposed to say about her? How is the reader supposed to connect with her character in any way and understand where she’s coming from? I wouldn’t mind them having sex IF we had more context, more insight into their lives, more time with the two of them actually talking and bonding. We had none of that. 
James was a more complete character than Amira (just slightly) but again, his obsession with Amira-after Amira made it perfectly clear that she could not and would not be with him-is not at all justified. Again, context and contact time.

What I did like in TT was the ending. I have to give it to Berrick, it takes an insane amount of guts to write a romance book with no HEA and I found it very refreshing and unique. Sad, sure, but also a relief that this dysfunctional story came to an end. It would have been dreadful if it went on. 
I won’t be reading the next book, Bombshell but I read the excerpt and I found it more interesting than the entire TT!

READING: Glitterland by Alexis Hall

Publication date: August 26 2013
Published by: Riptide
Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Contemporary
Rating: 

Once the golden boy of the English literary scene, now a clinically depressed writer of pulp crime fiction, Ash Winters has given up on love, hope, happiness, and—most of all—himself. He lives his life between the cycles of his illness, haunted by the ghosts of other people’s expectations.

Then a chance encounter at a stag party throws him into the arms of Essex boy Darian Taylor, an aspiring model who lives in a world of hair gel, fake tans, and fashion shows. By his own admission, Darian isn’t the crispest lettuce in the fridge, but he cooks a mean cottage pie and makes Ash laugh, reminding him of what it’s like to step beyond the boundaries of anxiety.

But Ash has been living in his own shadow for so long that he can’t see past the glitter to the light. Can a man who doesn’t trust himself ever trust in happiness? And how can a man who doesn’t believe in happiness ever fight for his own? 

One of the worst covers I've ever seen...😖

I inhaled Glitterland! It is a whirlwind of a book, with a first half that will leave you reeling.

This is my first book by Alexis Hall and I've got to say, initially, I was shocked . In a very good way, in the best way. His writing was like listening to classical music, looking out your window on a rainy day. So melancholic and solemn. It stroke me as a tad pretentious at first, but as I kept reading I thought "Yes, Ash would think like that using these exact words". That was Ash, trying to hide behind layers of sophistication and failing miserably. Only Darian could see through him, and Ash loved him for it.

Second half was still good, but not as impressive as the first. Sometimes in MM, and I have seen it happen a lot, the MC (or MCs) is being put in a situation so over the top, so far away from his character, that is not believable at all.
In this case ↓

Ash walking at the Essex Fashion Week (Day). Two chapters ago he 1. could not go to the super market without having a minor anxiety attack and 2. he was adamant he wouldn't go to the show at all. In my opinion, and from what we know of Ash up until that point, anxiety aside, Ash wouldn't never do something like that.

While it didn't spoil the mood for the rest of the book exactly, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I didn't like it.

Also, Ash did a very, very shitty thing to Darian in the end. I know some of it could be attributed to his mental illness, but not enough to be forgiven that easily. And after months of no communication. I love Ash, but come on.

I didn't really have a problem with Darian's accent, but I didn't really see the point in it, either. Just using a different vocabulary than Ash would have been enough.

A little bit disappointed by the second half, but the first half is pure MM gold. It is definitely worthy of the hype, for the fabulously angsty writing alone.

Picture this: A young Tom Hiddleston for Ash, and a very polished 20year old Tom Hughes for Darian.
Hm.
Maybe someone more innocent looking for Darian because Tom Hughes is definitely NOT innocent looking!
I don't know. This one was hard.

READING: Tempest (Playing the Fool #3) by Lisa Henry and J.A. Rock

Publication date: March 9 2015
Published by: Riptide
Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Mystery, Funny
Rating: 

FBI Agent Ryan “Mac” McGuinness and con man Henry Page are on the run again. This time they’re headed back to where it all began: Altona, Indiana. Population: some goats. Henry’s not happy about lying low at the McGuinness family farm, but they’ve got nowhere else to go.

While Mac fights to clear his name and Henry struggles with whose side he’s really on, a ghost from the past threatens to destroy everything. And those aren’t the only storms on the radar. Cut off from both sides of the law, Mac and Henry must rely on their tenuous partnership to survive. 

If Henry can convince himself to let Mac see the man behind the disguises, they’ll stand a chance of beating the forces that conspire against them. The course of true love never did run smooth, but for the two of them, it might be their only hope.

I wanted this series to be epic, considering who wrote it. It wasn't bad, not at all, but maybe I was expecting something else entirely. Based on other Henry novels (except for Another Man's Treasure) I thought this one was gonna be jam packed with romance and angst and brilliant characters and writing. It had the last two in abundance, but didn't quite succeed in the first two. 

I really liked Mac and Henry's relationship dynamic, but we didn't get to see too much of it. Every time they met, except for a very few exceptions, Henry either ran away changing his mind about staying with Mac, was being too sexual in front of Mac in order to provoke him and not always in a good way, or indulged in self flagellation. I felt that, like Mac, we never got to see the real Henry, Sebastian, whomever. It was like Mac had a relationship with someone I didn't know, someone fuzzy that I can't quite place, and that prevented me from getting too invested in his character, and consequently their relationship.

Readers not hung up on romance will definitely enjoy this one more.

READING: The Two Gentlemen from Altona (Playing the Fool #1) by Lisa Henry and J.A. Rock

Publication date: December 27 2014
Published by: Riptide
Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Mystery, Funny
Rating: 


Mischief, thou art afoot.

Special Agent Ryan "Mac" McGuinness is having a rough week. Not only is he on a new diet, but he's also been tasked with keeping Henry Page -- the world's most irritating witness -- alive. Which is tough when Mac's a breath away from killing the Shakespeare-quoting, ethically-challenged, egg-obsessed Henry himself. Unless killing isn't really what Mac wants to do to him.

Con man Henry Page prefers to keep his distance from the law . . . though he wouldn't mind getting a little closer to uptight, handsome Agent McGuinness. As the sole witness to a mob hit, Henry's a valuable asset to the FBI. But he's got his own agenda, and it doesn't involve testifying.

When evidence surfaces of a mole in the FBI office, Mac and Henry are forced to go into hiding. Holed up in a fishing cabin, they're surprised to discover that their feelings run more than skin deep. But as the mob closes in, Henry has to make his escape. And Mac has to decide how far he's willing to go to keep Henry by his side.

Didn't realise this book is so short!!! I'm at work, and I don't have the second one! Now what? Do I actually have to...work? Ugh.

Henry and Rock together: miracle workers. 
Even when they create realistic characters-not having washboard abs and piercing blue eyes kind of realistic-I still like them and am attracted to them because of their unbelievably charismatic personality. I am not saying that physical appearance is everything and all MCs should be crazy hot and sexy, but when you're writing a romance novel, I think it's kind of pivotal. 
Henry and Rock are very good at that; they create smart characters, with great sense of humour but most importantly, genuinely good and kind hearted people that you can't help but like.
Same with Bel in WATWS, same with Deacon in MCvA, same here with Mac. 

And then they create broken, cracked characters like Henry, who starve for good guys like Mac, but never let themselves believe they are good enough, scared to accept that yes, they can have something nice and safe in their lives.

The only thing I would say is that I didn't really get how quickly Mac went from "Shut up, I want to throttle you, you're so annoying" and "You're my witness and I'm a professional", to playing dress up and re enacting scenes from Shakespeare with Henry and basically falling in love with him. There was something missing there, I think. Maybe if they were given a little bit more time to bond (maybe a couple of chapters) their connection would seem more believable. 

Starting Merchant of Death straight away!

READING: The Understatement of the Year by Sarina Bowen

Publication date: October 15 2014
Published by: Rennie Road Books
Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Sports, Contemporary, College
Rating: 

What happened in high school stayed in high school. Until now.

Five years ago, Michael Graham betrayed the only person who ever really knew him. Since then, he’s made an art of hiding his sexuality from everyone. Including himself.

So it’s a shock when his past strolls right into the Harkness College locker room, sporting a bag of hockey gear and the same slow smile that had always rendered Graham defenseless. For Graham, there is only one possible reaction: total, debilitating panic. With one loose word, the team’s new left wing could destroy Graham’s life as he knows it.

John Rikker is stuck being the new guy. Again. And it’s worse than usual, because the media has latched onto the story of the only “out” player in Division One hockey. As the satellite trucks line the sidewalk outside the rink, his new teammates are not amused.

And one player in particular looks sick every time he enters the room.

Rikker didn’t exactly expect a warm welcome from Graham. But the guy won’t even meet his eyes. From the looks of it, his former… best friend / boyfriend / whatever isn’t doing so well. He drinks too much and can’t focus during practice.

Either the two loneliest guys on the team will self destruct from all the new pressures in their lives, or they can navigate the pain to find a way back to one another. 

College romance, with just the right amount of complication and angst, but not always the kind you want. Also, addictive as hell, if that's your thing. I read it in one day, couldn't put it down.

The first half of TUoTY was pretty great; I really liked the writing, I loved Rikker's voice (we mostly see his POV) he was charismatic, smart and funny. I also really appreciated how he sort of backed off and tried not to engage much with Graham even though he obviously wanted to. He wasn't whiny or clingy. Like he said, he just wanted to play hockey. Rikker was cool like that. Also, this is a slow burn romance since the whole "enemies to lovers" trope needs time to unfold, and I think Bowen hit the nail on the head with that one. Rikker and Graham's back story was also very interesting and well though out.

However, Graham's deep closetedeness started to become annoying after the first half. I started to really dislike him, he sure as hell didn't deserve Rikker. I of course appreciate the fact that coming out might be the single hardest thing in a gay man's life, but Graham took it to a whole other level. Didn't even want to be seen walking, talking with or looking at Rikker just in case his "friends" made the connection. Great friends they were, by the way. One homophobic asshole and the rest were OK with Rikker so what was the issue exactly? His family was also very very cool. He could not even say the word "gay", Rikker had to actually ask him to say it out loud. Ugh, I don't know. 
He eventually comes to his senses, but a little too late for me.

Another thing that bothered me was Bella. And no, I am not talking about the dog. Her character didn't really fit into the story at all, which I guess Bowen realized because she wasn't even mentioned towards the end. Graham's alleged best friend. She was deliberately silly and annoying, did not serve any particular story line, there was absolutely no need for her.

And finally, what kinda ending was that?? Have you ever had a conversation with someone, when they start telling you a story and then they cut mid sentence looking into the horizon and you look at them with pleading eyes like "yes, and??"
That was TUoTY's ending in a nutshell.

I loved Rikker, he had a great heart and was a genuinely good guy. I love decent and honest guys in MM books. I thought his and Graham's was going to be an epic love, but unfortunately Graham was too much of a disappointment.

READING: Boy Shattered by Eli Easton

Publication date: October 16 2018
Published by: --
Genre: Young Adult, MM, Romance, School, Contemporary, Violence
Rating: 

Brian 
You’ll make it out of here, Brian. I swear. 
I had everything—school quarterback, popular with girls, and my dad was proud of me. I told myself it didn’t matter no one knew the real me. And then I nearly died. Landon saved my life. He’s the bravest guy I know. He came out a few years ago, proud and fierce, and he ran into gunfire to help others. Me, I’m a mess. Can’t even stand to be in a room with the curtains open. But here’s the thing about losing it all: You get a chance to start over and be someone new. Only how can I move on when the two shooters who attacked our school were never caught? And why do I feel like I’m still in the crosshairs? 

Landon 
Will you kiss me? 
When I came across Brian Marshall,the hottest guy in school, dying on the cafeteria floor, I did what anyone would do. I tried to save him. His request surprised me, but I figured he needed comfort, so I kissed him on the forehead. When he survived and came back to school, he was broken in body and mind. He still needed me, and soon we were unlikely besties. But what I saw at school that day woke me up. I want to demand action on gun control, lead protests, raise my fist. I’ll tear the world down if I have to. And if I can get the man of my dreams and save the world at the same time? I’ll take it. Only I didn’t understand that the horror at Jefferson Waller High wasn’t over. 

I am lucky enough to have lived in two countries with extremely strict gun laws and I have never even came close to experiencing the horror of what Boy Shattered describes, one that unfortunately doesn't only happen in movies and books.

Boy Shattered tells the story of two teenage boys, a senior and a freshman, and their blossoming relationship in the heels of an unimaginable tragedy; two shooters invade their school and kill 42 of their classmates in cold blood.

The first half of the book was admittedly hard to read. Easton gives a chilling description of the actual shooting, along with its aftermath and the effect it had on everyone, especially Brian. Her writing was gentle and sensitive, but underneath it all, I could still sense her boiling anger, her frustration, and the utter disbelief-these things cannot still be happening, they just can't be.

A small ray of hope in the midst of all the despair and devastation, was Landon and Brian's romance. It was really sweet and had all the urgency and angst of a teenage high school romance. BS is a YA book so everything is kept pretty decent, and I liked that the romance didn't take away much from the story. That was not the point anyway. It also makes the book more accessible to teenagers and tweens who absolutely need to educate themselves on the matter as much as possible.

What I didn't particularly like was Brian's dad. I didn't buy that he was a good guy once and I certainly didn't like how he was all forgiven in the end and came back to Brian's life. I mean, his son was nearly killed in the shooting and not only did he force him to go back to that school even though he was clearly not ready, he was extremely disrespectful to the guy who saved his life, calling him obscene and derogatory names. Also, the fact that he would have beaten Brian bloody when he told him he was gay if Brian didn't manage to escape. Yeah, there was that.
I just don't see how a reconciliation between these two was even possible.

I also didn't like how Easton turned the shooting into a mystery. This should not be a "whodunit". I don't care how "brilliantly" and cunningly the perpetrators thought the shooting out. This book should be about the victims, the survivors and the way to cope in the aftermath of such a tragedy, ways to avoid it and raise awareness. The mystery was unnecessary.

Personally, like any senseless death, I find mass shootings extremely hard to accept. I can't even fathom the amount of hatred and disregard of human life someone must have in order to do something like that, it's just beyond me. These people have been called "sick", "monsters", "evil". That may be true, but people who still allow things like these to happen in a different school everyday, still allow for children to be so cruelly murdered, are even sicker and more evil. 13 and 15 year old kids with rifles and AR-15s and AK-47s? I mean, what is this?? How are so many people allowed to have that kind of weaponry at their home? And for what possible reason? I didn't even know all these types of guns until I heard them mentioned in a school shooting coverage. That's just goes to show how different my upbringing was and how, I realise now, safe I was growing up and going to school, and for that I am really appreciative.

The fatalist in me says that nothing is ever going to change. I don't see how it can. But thankfully, there are people like Landon out there in the real world who are willing to speak up and fight for what they believe in, what everyone should believe in, because saving lives is kind of a no brainer.
At least it should be. 

READING: Another Man's Treasure by Lisa Henry and J.A.Rock

Publication date: May 30 2014
Published by: Crocobear Press
Genre: MM, Adult, Contemporary, Dark, Suspense, Violence 
Rating: 

Ilia Porter is Chechen mob boss Mikhail Kadyrov’s greatest treasure. After leaving home at eighteen to escape his verbally abusive father, beautiful, selfish Ilia has lived with Mikhail, proud of his ability to bring such a powerful man to his knees to worship. But when Ilia’s father, a police captain, kills Mikhail in a raid, Ilia’s world falls apart.

Entering to pick up the pieces is Mikhail’s younger brother, Nick—impulsive, power-hungry, and dangerous. When Nick tells Ilia he’s taking everything that belonged to Mikhail—including Ilia—Ilia is too lost in grief to fight. Nick takes Ilia prisoner in the apartment Ilia once shared with Mikhail and grooms him for a very important mission: to kill Ilia’s father and avenge Mikhail’s death.

Ilia wants no part in the plot, but being Nick’s ally is preferable to being Nick’s victim, so he begins to warp himself into the monster Nick wants him to be. Hope arrives when Nick takes another captive: Patrick, a shy massage therapist who’s stronger than he seems. Patrick and Ilia must join forces to escape Nick—and to keep each other whole as Nick does everything in his power to break them.

This review is very small but I wanted to add it in here so this amazing, wonderful book could get as much exposure as possible. 

Oh my God.
This book.
Oh my God.

Another Man's Treasure is an exquisitely written book, from beginning to end.
It is dark. Possibly the darkest book I have ever read.
It is not a romance book, in any way, shape or form. There is no HEA. I would not recommend it to just anyone. I was desperately trying to find something good and positive to hold on to in the midst of all this blackness, but it just got darker and darker. And yet, I couldn't stop reading. Like a car-crush; I just couldn't look away.

What makes it a great read? The writing and the characters. Lisa Henry reaffirms herself as my favourite MM author and together with Rock they are unbeatable (see When All the World Sleeps). They have this phenomenal ability to make the reader captivated by the most gut wrenching, sorrow-filled but utterly un-relatable stories by creating such full and compelling characters. Even the monsters they create are fascinating.

Another Man's Treasure is a work of art. An evil, twisted work of art. Just like Ilia's piercing.
I felt completely devastated after reading it. My stomach was clenched the entire time, I was on edge and quite honestly, scared. 
And I loved every second of it.

READING: Crush & Burn (Cut & Run #9) by Abigail Roux

Publication date: March 18 2015
Published by: Dreamspinner Press
Genre: MM, Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Suspense, Crime
Rating: 

It’s been five years since Special Agents Ty Grady and Zane Garrett first worked together to solve the Tri-State murders, and time has been both harsh and kind. Engaged now, they face the challenge of planning a deeply uncertain future together. Zane is at the pinnacle of his career with one last mystery to solve, while Ty is at sea in a world where he’s no longer the tip of a spear.

There’s just one more hurdle in the way of their happy ever after: a traitor from their inner circle who threatens to burn their world to the ground.

Squeezed between the Vega cartel, an unknown mole, and too many alphabet agencies to count, Ty and Zane must gather all their strength and resources to beat the longest odds they’ve ever faced. To make it out alive, they’ll need help from every friend they’ve got. Even the friends who might betray their trust.

"We can still cut and run. We can open up a flower shop and sell black-market orchids from the back. Just say the word." 

I started the Cut&Run series around May this year and I went through 9 books very slowly, stretching it out, trying to make it last, savoring every word. But Ty and Zane's journey had to, inevitably, come to an end.
Before I get too emotional, I am going to keep this brief.

Cut&Run came into my life when I needed it the most. I was going through a lot of shit back then, and it seductively offered me a way out which I couldn't possibly refuse. I will always be grateful to Abigail Roux for creating these amazing characters that helped me forget my problems even for a second, and rekindled my love for reading. Despite the fact that I still think that some parts of the books were plain bad and that we, Zane fans, were left very unsatisfied in the end, I will always love this series, defend it and recommend it to anyone who would listen.

It's not a secret I didn't like Cut&Run, as in book 1. It was sloppily written, mystery and suspense were lacking and dialogue was chaotic. Even then, something about Ty and Zane made me want to keep going and continue reading. After reading the last scene when Ty leaves Zane at the hospital, which was amazing and so unlike the rest of the book, I remember thinking "There is something there, I have to give it another chance." And I am glad I did, because not only Sticks&Stones is one of my favourite books, but also because I wouldn't otherwise have these great memories of living through Ty and Zane's amazing journey. It was all about those two from the beginning for me, and it was like that until the very end. They put me through the emotional wringer: they made me laugh, they made me angry, the made me sentimental, them made me hopeful. 

Reading about Ty and Zane, from beginning to end, was an indescribable experience that I will never, ever forget, and I will always love them for it ♥

(and that's me NOT being emotional...)

Now about Crush&Burn.
Was it the rightful ending to the series? No, I don't believe it was. But then again, not many would be. 
C&B had the least amount of romance of all the other books, as Ty and Zane's relationship sort of solidified and even though it did not necessarily lose its spark, it certainly settled into a comfortable and loving partnership. Like Ty said:

“You realize we’re looking at our future, right? Two of us in a retirement home, bitching about our catheters and heated blankets.”

I really liked how their marriage played out. Short, sweet, meaningful. And it was great that they got it out of the way in the beginning, if only for the mere pleasure of calling each other "husband" for the rest of the book. I loved everything Nick-related. I am just hopeless when it comes to him, I can't seem to find any fault. Not like Ty's super hero "can't do no wrong" stints. Because Ty can be a real dick sometimes. But Nick cannot, he doesn't have it in him. He's so like Ty, but not at all like him at the same time. I guess that's why these two are best friends but if they happened to hook up, they would have killed each other day 1. I couldn't ask for a better best-friend-relationship, really. What I didn't like, but sort of ignored C&B being the last book and all, was the amount of information and exposition we were constantly bombarded with, which if you put the facts down and think logically, doesn't make much sense. And even if it did, it's certainly not suitable for a last book in a series. Making Burns and Tanner into bad guys out of the blue, the two father figures Ty and Zane had and respected above all others (even though their perfect real fathers should have been enough) was just a cheap shot, cheapened even more so by the lack of emotion by both Ty and Zane by the revelation. Yes, they were taken aback by it, but Ty had known Burns his whole life. He called him uncle and pretty much killed tons of innocent people for him. That deserved a little bit more exploration in my opinion and it was sad that it was brushed off so quickly. Zane calling the other FBI officers "family"? Um what? Since when? He himself said he didn't want to share all the case details with them because he didn't trust them 100%. Roux was so desperate to give him friends because Ty's friends are so prominent, but in the end it doesn't matter. He doesn't have to have the same relationships with other people that Ty has. That's part of his character, that's who he is. The same goes for Zane. I liked how there were a lot of trivia and references from all previous books peppered throughout C&B. Also, Ty and Zane taking the piss out of the police officers when they are handcuffed at the back of a police car, the way that car was rammed by their pursuers and them trying to get away- clear homage to C&R. Another homage was the scene in F&C when Ty tells Zane he loves him from the first time before Zane falls I don't know how many stories into a pool to save himself. Stray observations: Ty playing violin? No. Ty saying "Shut your whore mouth!" when Zane told him he doesn't like baseball? Yes. Also yes: T:“What is wrong with my salve?” N: “Last time he put that on me it peeled my skin off!” T: “That was a bad batch.” N: “You’re a bad batch!” Can I have a book with just Mara and Beverly? Thanks.

There are several other parts of the book I wasn't particularly fond of, but this review is going to be super long if I try to explain them all. Also, I don't want to leave this last review on a bummer note.
C&B was what it was, but it was still a Ty and Zane book. At the end of the day, that's just enough for me :)